Grits, grins and gripes

Adventures as an only child.

2012-02-04T20:44:00.002-05:00

As the arrival of Baby Dos approaches, I've tried to create some quality time with my Big Bro Asher - and capture them on camera. His whole world (and ours) is about to change and I want to look back and remember these days very clearly. That's all I'm going to say about that though because I'm not trying to get all emotional with myself on a Saturday night.

Today we had Family Fun Day with Ash, starting with brunch at the Farmer's Market Restaurant followed by lots of play time at the N.C. Museum of Natural Sciences. The boys loved it! I followed along at my waddle pace and enjoyed watching Asher absorb it all.

Here are some of my favorite shots with my favorite boy. And by some, I mean a ton. And by a ton, I mean really a ton. Prepare for photo overload.

RDU Observeration Park

Air-pane!

Whale watching with Dad.

(Yes, I do let him touch things.)

Whoa. Dinosaur!

Self portrait.

I asked him to sit on the rock so I could take his picture.

(Denise, don't look!)

He could have stood at this bug cage all day.

Me. As a bee.

Butterfly room. Highlight of the day.

Definitely, time to go home.

The Baby Dos Experience: I am tired.

2012-02-01T20:49:00.001-05:00

Well, I'll be 38 weeks pregnant on Friday. I keep writing blog posts in my head. They just never get beyond there.

I've been very busy with work (big launches!) and trying to get things together around here to, you know, have a baby.

And I'm so tired. Just starting to swell some. Hopefully that will remain somewhat under control this go round.

Sorry the blog has been so quiet. It's one thing I haven't allowed myself to fret over. :)

Snotty side of parenting

2012-01-15T19:17:00.001-05:00

Poor baby. Apples and snot.

The Baby Dos Experience: maternity shoot

2012-01-01T20:52:00.000-05:00

We didn't do an official maternity shoot when I was pregnant with Asher. This time around, my dear friend Liz Cooper did a family shoot to capture us at this time in our lives. And I love how they turned out!

We are on my grandma Cille's land back home in Louisburg. With her quilt. And my uncle's camper. And the hand knit 'sweater of many colors' made years ago by my great-grandma Minnie Strother and worn by my mom. And the book my mom sang to me when I was little, and I now sing to Asher.

I wanted simple and sweet, and that's just what I think we got. These are some of my favorite shots from Liz's sneak peek post.

Baby Dos Experience @ 34 weeks tomorrow

2011-12-29T14:25:00.002-05:00

Some belly for ya. And Denise is here with me!

Our Birth Plan: The Second Time Around

2011-12-27T18:12:00.000-05:00

When thinking through a birth plan when I was pregnant with Asher, it was more of a non-plan birth plan. I wanted Asher here safely and I didn't have much of a preference of how it went down. I was totally open to pain medication and induction was fine by me, too.

Well, after a whirlwind of a birth and a long recovery from a c-section, I put a lot of thought into what we'd like this time around. Keeping in mind what truly matters is a safe, healthy baby and delivery.

First things first, I changed OBGYNs. I wasn't thrilled with 90% of my experience with my first OBGYN practice and swapped over when I found out we were expecting this time. So far, so good.

At my first visit, they began discussing my options and they have continued to discuss them and answer my questions at each visit. Today, at my 32 week appointment, I officially told them my plan is to attempt a VBAC. Sure, the idea of scheduling a c-section at 39 weeks sounds appealing (think: plan in place, date known, no being overdue, etc.).

But, recovering from a c-section again sounds appalling. And, my OB said that after two c-sections they wouldn't encourage a VBAC - so this is my chance to have a vaginal birth, which I really want to experience. And, they also said they wouldn't recommend more than three c-sections (nor would some of them even agree to perform one at that point).

Now, I'm not family planning four children over here (not yet anyway), but I don't like the idea of a c-section being the reason I cannot have more kids, or as many kids as we may decide we'd like to have. I also don't like the idea of each surgery carrying more risk. I have enough to stress about over here.

So, I asked around. Talked things over with Rusty. Did some reading. Weighed the pros and cons. Talked with all of the doctors in my new practice. And, today, they wrote in my chart: VBAC.

I feel good about this. I have a good feeling we'll be successful with a VBAC. (I also have a good feeling I'll be running to them at 39 weeks begging to schedule a c-section to get this baby out of me. But, writing this should help hold me accountable.)

Here's our current plan:

Allow my body to go into labor naturally. (Pray my body goes into labor naturally.)
Have a home birth. JUST KIDDING. I think the idea of a home birth is beautiful for some, but just not for me. Really, I am open to an epidural and pain control and plan to use as needed.
Continue my chiropractic adjustments weekly. My chiropractor has experience with VBAC mommas and has seen correct alignment prove to be helpful with VBAC deliveries. Given the fact that my pubic bone was separating so early and my pelvis was out of line, I'm hoping that having her adjust me will put me in a better place for contractions that are productive this time around.
Keep active. Try to prevent the swelling nightmare from the first time around. Walk walk walk, which will help with previous item, too. Well, and chasing Asher and climbing stairs daily will help.
Do not schedule a c-section until 41 weeks, and then only if I feel like that's the appropriate route. My OBGYN will not induce me since I had a c-section with Asher. So, I'm not interested in being forever overdue, miserable and end up in an emergency c-section situation.
Research doula support as a supplement to our labor experience. I actually began this process officially today and realized that I'm very late to the ballgame. I don't think I'll be able to find a qualified, experienced doula at such late notice. In the cost department, Rusty was not so thrilled, but I've had several friends mention the positive experience that the doula was able to provide them during their labor and deliveries. It'd be great to maybe even find a new doula in the area that's looking for clients or visibility and work out a blog/doula swap off. Either way, though, I may have missed the boat on this one.
Have a plan in place for Asher and Rusty. Come to peace with the fact that if there is some crazy flu outbreak at the time of delivery, I may not be able to see Asher while at the birth center. Use this as fuel for my VBAC fire (less time at hospital).
Remind myself to take my Zoloft to delivery and pop that pill ASAP following birth. Also, remind myself that my body may have a much better time recovering and dealing with delivery and postpartum hormones if I can manage a VBAC. We've even talked about placenta encapsulation over here as a means to help me in my postpartum recovery. The idea kind of makes me gag to myself, but in reading about the benefits and the research behind it all, there does seem to be something to it. I don't think Rusty will ever officially agree to it, but it is something we are researching.
Realize that this is not all in my control. I can pray about it. I can prepare for whatever may happen. And I can be proud of growing this baby thus far and even more proud when I see his sweet face for the first time - no matter how we get to that meeting.

So that, my friends, is our plan this time around. Please pray for a safe delivery and a healthy baby. And pray that God's will be done along the way.

Losing his lap

2011-12-22T11:54:00.001-05:00

Slowly, my lap is running out of room for the Asher man. He will back his way up and plop down and squeeze in. And then, bless him, he will try to lean back and relax. It's like leaning back around an exercise ball and calling it cozy - not likely.

It makes me sad. Does he understand what's going on? Is he missing the way it used to be? So many changes ahead for him. I just hope we all handle it well and Asher just feels the expansion of love when his brother arrives.

Asher visits " ho ho"

2011-12-21T20:51:00.001-05:00

I love these little hands.

2011-12-18T14:02:00.001-05:00

Random Ramblings

2011-12-09T21:41:00.001-05:00

And, I mean random. But here are some things that keep popping into my head.

Christmas decorations are fantastic. I heard people griping that they were up around Halloween, but honestly, I didn't mind at all. I love Christmas and all things Christmas and I think such an important and beautiful holiday deserves more than just 30 days of decorating. Granted, I know a lot of places are trying to 'make money' off the holiday, but I enjoy seeing trees and sparkly wintry things hanging from the ceiling at Target even when I'm shopping for bleach in the first of November. I like the wreaths on the light poles and the bows on the railings. Bring it on, I say!
I'm so tired of hearing about the Elf on the Shelf. I get it, and yes I think it's pretty neat. But, I'm going to try not to give into that. First of all, it's everywhere. Movies and books and this and that. I think more focus on Christmas belongs on baby Jesus and the true meaning of the holiday. Not an elf on a shelf trying to make kids behave. Of course, when my kid continues his tantrums and terrible two-ness next year I could revisit this stance. But, mostly, I want the focus in our family to remain on the birth of Jesus, as much as possible. That is all.
Santa diapers are awesome.
I slacked on our Advent calendaring this year. I know, this kind of goes against random thought #2. But, I'm pregnant and that entitles me to being a little too tired. My mom and I gathered Christmas and holiday books - one for each day of the month. The plan was to wrap each of them, open one every night and read it together as family. Next year, we'd do the same with the same book collection. And the tradition would repeat itself over the years. Except, December 1st came really fast and the only presents (four of them) wrapped in this entire house are the ones my sweet mom wrapped for me weeks ago. So, to sit down and wrap 25 books just wasn't happening. Instead, I have the adorable wooden sled that Rusty's Granddad made overflowing with our Christmas books and we read them when we can. Sometimes, over and over and over when Asher finds one he likes. We'll regroup on this next year.
I feel large. And I get winded so easily. The stairs are a pain in my hind parts and bending over to pick up toys is not pleasant. But, I do believe said activities are helping keep the swelling down. Knock on wood.
Hmm, what else did I want to ramble about?
I'm hungry again.
Have I expressed how the humidifier is my child's favorite toy ever? Or gadget, since we don't advocate it as a toy. We use it most every night because my kid can snort and snore like an adult. And the thrill of his night every night is filling it up and turning it on. I'm serious, ya'll.
Currently, my favorite thing that Asher says is: "Ere-it-is". Read: There it is. And he says it in context. And it's fantastic.
Currently what he says too much and in repetition and in repetition and in repetition and in repetition that drives me crazy: Uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh. Loon loon loon loon loon loon. Pasay pasay pasay pasay pasay. Uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh. No no no no no no no no no no no no no.
Today, we were listening to the Trans Siberian Orchestra. Asher was eating his fruit calmly and one of the songs crescendo'ed to a loud, active, rocking part. Asher threw his hands up like he was conducting the orchestra and started dancing. Just when I thought my kid couldn't get any cooler, he went and did that.
I'm going to stop rambling now, take my Ambien and go to bed. Night night!

The Baby Dos Experience @ 27 & 28 weeks

2011-11-30T21:36:00.000-05:00

Yes, a 28 week wagon photoshoot. Cuz we're cool like that.

Playing catch up here a tad.

When I was pregnant with Asher, I remember telling people I was hobbling because I felt like I had been kicked in the crotch by a horse. Just a bruised feeling.

In the last few weeks, that feeling has returned. And in the last week - WHEW - it's gotten a lot worse. Putting on my shoes, pants, getting in and out of the car, turning over in bed, walking. All of those hurt in a really bad way. I called my OB and they had me come in before Thanksgiving just to be sure all was ok. And it was, in that Dos is chilling and doing great. But, it seems my pubic bone is separating.

This is normal at the very end of pregnancy, when your hormones tell your ligaments to loosen up to prepare for birth. Not so normal now where the left side of my pubic bone is heading on outta there. There's no harm to Dos. Just painful as hell for me.

There's a medical term for it. I just call it my separated pubic bone and some obscenities sprinkled along in there, too. The OB says she's seen a patient in a wheelchair until delivery because hers separated so horribly she couldn't walk. My options were to buy a support band that goes from my crotch to my neck (um, no thanks) or go see a chiropractor. Yes, please.

My mom went to a chiropractor when she was pregnant with me and Joni. She went from bed rest early in her pregnancy with me (per her orthopedic doctor) to teaching up until she delivered me (with the help of her chiropractor). Back then, they were really seen as a far out approach to medicine or healing. Now, they are definitely more widely accepted.

My OB referred me to a practice that specializes in pediatric and pregnancy care. I went on Monday of this week and I go again tomorrow morning. She did an exam and adjusted me. Turns out, my entire pelvis is out of line which is likely causing a lot of my pain. My pubic bone is, in fact, separating and there are some things she can try to do to help with that. But, the reality is it may just keep right on happening. She can however help align my pelvis, which could help with the pubic bone along the way.

She showed me a pelvis skeleton thingie and everything made so much sense. She said a lot of women that are hoping for VBACs can find a lot of help from chiropractic care. The uterus needs to be aligned, pelvis, spine and all in order for contractions to do exactly what they are meant to do. Makes sense to me. We shall see. But that whole VBAC is another post for another day.

I am hoping for some relief in the pubic pelvic department tomorrow after my adjustment. (Rusty just said it sounds like I'm writing a porno. No, no, nope. Just talking about pregnancy pains.) Overall though, still feeling good. Energy is up. Weight gain is under control. Excited to meet Dos!

Oh! And in other news. I'm coming off my meds gradually. I can definitely feel the OCD and anxiety heightening, but I'm trying to stick with no meds for the third trimester. We'll see how that goes. I'm not going to drive myself and everyone around me crazy if it just is more than I can handle. I'll just stick with the lowest dose possible if I need to.

Ok. Done updating now. Goodnight!

My boy. And his girl.

2011-11-30T21:12:00.000-05:00

The toddler Christmas tree.

2011-11-27T22:37:00.000-05:00

It's not the most beautiful tree in the world, but at the same time it is the most beautiful tree in the world.

We have a tree in our family room that's specifically for Asher to decorate. I wanted something we could all enjoy without my anxiety about hooks and glass and small parts sending me through the roof every day.

So, I took the toddler-safe ornaments and used pipe cleaners to fashion toddler-friendly 'hooks'. In this case, hooks are really just big loops. Asher can walk up to the tree and hang them himself.

The ones that I want him to steer away from I will make smaller loops and put them higher up on the tree. Or, you know, if giant pipe cleaner loops aren't quite your style, you can make them less obvious with smaller loops.

So far, he's loved taking the ornaments off and on and looping them on his arm like bracelets. He organizes and reorganizes them almost daily. It's pretty adorable. And I'm not stressing out the entire time, which is pretty fantastic.

Joni and Asher also made paper garland to wrap around the tree (and practice colors). We have a few more homemade items that will adorn his tree over the next few weeks - scrap fabric, snowflakes, paper airplanes, etc. Makes for a pretty good time and a pretty cute tree, too.

First Christmas Parade

2011-11-21T21:23:00.001-05:00

This is so fun; all of these firsts.

I had high hopes for our parade outing, and while it was a fun first adventure, the parade wasn't so spectacular itself. We were near the beginning of the route and I think that they just didn't have the timing right. There would be minutes of no action between each group. Which, with a toddler and an antsy husband, isn't so desirable.

Joni and I, though, could have sat back and watched all day happily (well, if we had found a bathroom nearby). So, we didn't last the whole parade. But Asher did have a lot of 'whoooaa' and 'wow' and 'balloon' action. And a lot of irritable-don't-make-me-sit-here-another-minute action.

He cleared his own little path from our seats three rows back to the curb. It made for a lot of up and down action for us, chasing him. He's certainly not shy.

Here are a few pics. Camera battery was dying, so I didn't get as many as I'd like. But, still the cuteness of this kid shines through.

Joseph's Lullaby

2011-11-18T11:38:00.000-05:00

This quiet tune just came on my Pandora Christmas station (which was otherwise rockin!). It caught my attention. And, wow, what a gorgeous song. How have I not heard this before?

Telling such a beautiful story. I can just picture sweet Baby Jesus and his sweet daddy. Christmas is such a magical time, and pretty amazing to picture Jesus as a tiny, helpless little newborn. This song helps to remind you. Happy (almost) Birthday, Baby Jesus.

Joseph's Lullaby by Mercy Me
Go to sleep my Son
This manger for your bed
You have a long road before You
Rest Your little head

Can You feel the weight of Your glory?
Do You understand the price?
Or does the Father guard Your heart for now
So You can sleep tonight?

Go to sleep my Son
Go and chase Your dreams
This world can wait for one more moment
Go and sleep in peace

I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight
But Lord, I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child

Go to sleep my Son
Baby, close Your eyes
Soon enough You'll save the day
But for now, dear Child of mine
Oh my Jesus, Sleep tight

The Baby Dos Experience @ 25+ weeks

2011-11-10T09:40:00.000-05:00

Well, here we are. 25 weeks and 5 days with the Dos Man. My belly has been rocking and rolling lately. Asher also likes to rock and roll ON my belly, so that's been fun to maneuver around.

I am feeling fabulous. For reals. Sleeping pretty well, thanks to Benadryl. Mentally feeling good. Loving on some Asher and Rusty. Staying active. Working really hard and staying busy.

Sometimes I think, 'oh I can't wait!' and other times I think, 'no, no, don't rush it.' I rest when I can. I sleep in when Asher lets me. We still have lots of preparation to do. But we are taking it easy. We are enjoying our family of three, and looking forward to becoming four.

p.s. The point of these images was to show '2' and '5' for 25 weeks. Joni seems to think 52 weeks is more appropriate. Ha! LYBUTT, Belle.

My toddler watches TV.

2011-11-09T21:34:00.000-05:00

Asher is a TV fan. He has been since he was little bitty.

I kid you not; when he was screaming with colic and nothing would calm him - all you had to do was cuddle him in front of the Wonderpets and the kid would settle down. Seriously. I hated that damn intro tune because I heard it so much, but it was a lifeline for our sanity.

And when he was a few months older, he would smile ear to ear every time Mickey Mouse's ears would come over the hill at the beginning of every Clubhouse episode. And, once again, I hated that damn 'hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog' closing song. (For real, what happened to the good 'ole Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song from back in my day? Loved that one.)

These days, I keep him from watching shows I don't like so much. Like Spongebob and Phineas and Ferb and anything else that annoys my hormones at the moment, or just seems plain inappropriate or bratty or meaningless. But, we do watch Sesame Street, Signing Time and Mickey and Disney movies and yes, The Young and the Restless in our house. (The kid stops what he is doing when the theme song starts playing. He's done that since he was tiny. Oopsie.)

I think it's pretty fantastic to watch him interact with these programs. He talks to the characters, counts along with the shows, signs 'bird' when a bird appears on the screen, says 'Bye' when Blue turns in for the night. (I can't stand this show, but it's Rusty and Asher's bedtime ritual.) He starts saying 'mine, mine, mine' in the moments before the seagulls try to eat Dori and Marlin. He giggles and dances and sings along with Choo Choo Soul. He points out Elmo when we pass him in stores.

And we are totally ok with it. We like it, even. I grew up watching Sesame Street every day at Miss Pat's house. And the episode of Mr. Ed from the night before when I woke up each morning. And I think I'm pretty smart. So, watch on Asher. Watch on and learn and blossom and grow. We won't listen to the American Academy of Pedia-whoevers on this one.

That is all.

And this is what I made!

2011-11-09T08:00:00.016-05:00

Pinterest is addictive, is it not? But I've gotten some great inspiration (while cutting into my work productivity, mind you) on easy-to-do home decorations.

I love the holidays! And I wanted to do something unique to decorate for Thanksgiving. I found a few ideas, pinned them and voila! I actually completed a few of my projects last week. And so, I'm excited to share them.

First up, a rag tag fireplace garland. I used old strips of fabric that my mom brought by for me to dig through. If that didn't give me what I needed, I planned to go through Rusty's old plaid, flannel shirts and use them instead. Either way - cheap! I started with $1 ribbon from Michael's, but had the backup plan of old rope from the garage. Again - cheap! I like how it turned out. This would be a fun kid's project, too, with fabric to match whatever holiday is coming up. But, expecting Asher to tie knots around ribbon wasn't in the cards this time around.

Also, I collected old liquor and wine bottles from Joni and friends for the next project. I took acrylic paint (old, leftover from old painting projects) and squirted them into each bottle. After drying overnight, I took more of my $1 Michael's clearnace ribbon and glued letters to the bottles. I am pleased with how they turned out. I have plans of hoarding more bottles and making other versions of this one. J-O-Y or S-P-R-I-N-G. It could be cute with tiny baby food jars, too.

We have a lot to be thankful for this year, and I'm reminded of that every time I pass through our front room.

Handmade adorableness

2011-11-08T11:09:00.001-05:00

My friend Christal is getting a little biz going in her home. She's making these adorable handmade applique shirts for little ones. Well, and bags and burp cloths and pillow cases and the like. Here I'm sharing some items she's made recently.

My Asher will be the proud model (owner) for the aviator, turkey and Christmas tree shirts. And my boys (plural) will be the proud models for the Big Bro/Lil Bro duo set when Dos Man joins us in February. The stitching you see (look close!) is all done by hand and you can customize to your heart's delight. Pick fabric, thread colors, designs, etc.

These shirts are $15/each. She's taking orders now for Thanksgiving and Christmas. If you like what you see, let me know and I can connect you two. Thanks for supporting my lovely, dear, sweet, awesome friend, fellow working mom and 'shopping' local!

Laundry doesn't fold or sort itself

2011-11-07T23:34:00.001-05:00

This I have learned time and time again. Maybe it is yard sale time.

Haircut and baby bump

2011-10-31T09:18:00.001-04:00

That is all.

The Baby Dos Experience @ 23 weeks

2011-10-24T08:00:00.002-04:00

Right now, I'm 23 weeks and 2 days pregnant with Lil Dos. And still, it's been such a different experience. It's about this time when I was pregnant with Asher that we went to Vegas for my cousin's wedding. The plane ride was uncomfortable. The walking around Vegas was miserable. My feet hurt, my back hurt, my pelvis hurt. And sleeping required a specific placement of pillows. I remember thinking, this pregnant stuff isn't all that grand.

But this time. This time, I feel great. I have the occasional heartburn. But that's really it. My weight gain seems to have temporarily slowed. (Thank you sweet Jesus because I gained 20 pounds right off the bat!) I think that being at home, making my own schedule, chasing around a toddler and wearing comfy clothes most of the time have helped with the experience.

My psychiatrist told me at my last appointment that I could keep taking the Zoloft until 26 weeks and then slowly wean off. She even said (just like my OB) that I could keep taking it; that there is no point in making myself miserable just to come off of it for the last trimester. But, still, the risk - however small - of a serious effect on Dos makes me want to at least try to come off the meds. But don't you worry, I will have that bottle in my hospital bag ready to go once he's here!

She also asked how I've been sleeping. I said that I wake up a lot and usually spend at least an hour each night trying to get back to sleep. It's not that I'm uncomfortable (yet). I'm just awake. And those pregnancy dreams are so freaking crazy it's like sometimes I'm not even asleep. They are so real and so detailed and so all-consuming. Anyways, she told me that sleep deprivation in pregnancy is a risk factor for PPD. She said that getting sleep at this point is crucial to helping myself out in the long run. She encouraged me to take Benadryl to get some rest; and assured me it was safe to take every night. She said if that doesn't work, there are prescription meds I can take. I am doing the Benadryl now, and it's helping. But I still have that time frame where it wears off and I'm wide awake. Mind spinning. Listening to Rusty and Asher snore on each side of me. (Asher's monitor, that is.)

All of this to say. I'm feeling pretty darn great! My hips and pelvis never seemed to 'bounce' back after Asher, but now I'm thankful. I'm happy to be without that pain.

Looking forward to the holidays with my Asher and my Dos. I think being pregnant at Christmas is an extra kind of magical.

We'd appreciate your prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy, as we anticipate Dos's arrival in February!

Second Annual Pumpkin Patching

2011-10-23T17:31:00.001-04:00

(Those hands, those hands. Those sweet boy hands.)

Last year, we took Asher and Hadley to their first pumpkin patch. Eek! Look at those bald(ish) babies!

Pumpkin Patch 2010

So this year, Christal and I not only planned a similar outing, but we ramped it up a bit. It became a family occasion, and we hit up the Phillips Family Farm in Cary. Phillips is smaller scale little farm, and we had a great time time. We all rode the cow tractor train, took a hay ride, hunted around the pumpkin patch for a free pumpkin and took a stroll through the corn maze trail. We then all stuffed our hungry faces at Cary's new Mellow Mushroom and called it a day! Next year, I'm pushing for margs to be added to the agenda.

This cow tractor train proved to be a little wilder ride than
we thought. It was fun! Mudslinging and all!

The farm is in the landing path at RDU Airport. Throughout the
morning, Asher would look up, point and say 'airplane'.

The point of the flag in the corn maze is to let them know you are lost.
Asher didn't understand why he couldn't wave his flag in the air.
Cue: toddler meltdown.

So, Rusty used the flag to guide/drag Asher
through until he realized the corn was pretty fun, too.

Asher's first trip to the NC State Fair

2011-10-19T23:06:00.000-04:00

We spent the day as a family at the NC State Fair last Friday. And, had a large time!

We covered a lot of ground. At least that is what my poor feet said by the time we made it back to the car.

We checked out most of the livestock, the honey exhibit (for Rusty), some crafts and such. We didn't have much to do with the food other than a quick lunch, funnel cake and sweets to bring home.

The best part was riding rides with our boy. He loves being swung around and anything with speed and bumps, so we were so pumped to see how he reacted to the rides. We scoped out the rides that allowed kids under 36" to ride with an adult.

First up. Mom. Asher. And the swings! He was totally enthralled with their motion while waiting in line. But once we got in that seat and had to sit there while everyone else slowly loaded up, he was not having it. So, by the time it started, he was a little distracted. He held on tight to me, snuggled in (read: clung to me) and had fun! (I hate how these photos makes me look like a huge giant in munchkin land. But, for the sake of memories, here they are.)

Next up, the silly looking train with dad!

That train was too tame. Next up, the big fire truck! This one was no joke. Rusty and Asher had a great position in the second row. I had a great position with the camera. Until that giantly tall guy who reminds me of the Blue's Clues replacement dude chose the row with the tiny toddler to squeeze in with his equally tall kid. And there went my view. And Asher's view and Rusty's view. But I'm not bitter or anything.

Rusty said everytime the truck went down, Asher would squeeze him tight. But, he seemed ok with it! No tears at all. Hooray for adventures with Asher.

And the highlight of Asher's day: the winning of the baaaaallll. Ball! Ball! Baaaaalllll! He skipped the duck pick up and grabbed the green ball of his choosing. Then he went back and chose the 'winning duck' for the green ball already in our possession. Then we pried him away from the barrels of balls surrounding the game. That part wasn't pretty.

Next, a little nap in the stroller (can't remember the last time THAT happened). Rusty and I walked around a bit and looked at some exhibits for ourselves. And then made our way back to Carter Finley and our car. Success at the fair, my friends!

Peace project

2011-10-18T18:33:00.001-04:00

What's a peace project? Anything that entertains my toddler so I can have a few moments of peace. Peace to clean, cook, send a note. That kind of peace.

Tonight: shoebox mailbox and deck of cards. Annnnnd go!

The Story of Asher's First Flight

2011-10-16T20:17:00.000-04:00

Every year, for as long as I can remember, Ball Airport in Louisburg hosts a fly-in. Complete with pig and bluegrass music. Last year, we went and Asher wasn't really clued in on what was happening. This year, we were excited to see his reaction to the airplanes.

The first time a plane buzzed the runway, loudly, Asher stopped what he was doing and screamed "Whoooooa!" With a huge grin on his face.

This was that first whoa moment.

From that moment on, the kid was in love with all things flying. Planes would buzz. He'd say some variation of 'whoa!', "wow!' or 'airplane' each time. We were all loving it!

Later in the day, a friend of my dad's and retired cropduster (read: really experience pilot), took my dad's Cub up for some fun. Rusty hopped in with him. I flew with Pilot Jim in my dad's plane several years back and together we looped the plane for the first time(!!). So, I trusted this kind man.

Here's the video Rusty captured on his flight. I was jealous. It looked way fun. You'll also see some clips of Asher's thrill while watching the planes fly by.

Rusty Cropdusting from Rusty on Vimeo.

Pilot Jim and Rusty flew around for a long while, dipping low over the fields and buzzing the runway. When he landed, Asher ran straight to the plane and wanted into Rusty's lap. My dad motioned for me to come over and asked if Asher could go up.

Hi dada!

Rusty and I had talked about this earlier. And we decided we were both ok with Asher flying, if it was something he seemed excited about. Plus, Asher tells us 'Yea' and 'No' pretty reliably, so we knew he'd let us know if he had objections.

So, without overthinking it, I looked and Rusty and we both said 'Sure!'. Asher loaded up and off they went.
At this point my sister comes running over saying, 'I didn't authorize this!' and my mom frantically walked over saying, 'Kira! Is Asher in that plane? There is so much air traffic. What about this and this and that and that?'

I was amazingly calm. I knew Asher would love it and I knew Rusty would love having that memory with him. I also knew my dad would be thrilled that Asher's first flight was in his plane. It just felt right.

Side note: My dad is great pilot, and takes great care when flying precious cargo. In this situation, he said that Asher was probably safer with Mr. Jim than he would have been with him. So, I had no worries. None at all. (Which says a lot for me, you know.)

So, we all watched on proudly!

Taking off!

Buzzing the runway like a pro!

Look close. You can see his sweet head!

I knew he must be loving it. They buzzed the runway a few times. Rusty told me that each time Asher would wave out and say "Hi! Bye!" as they zoomed by. How awesome is that?!

Hi! Bye!

Greeting him after landing.

Photo with Pilot Jim. Smiles all around.

Asher happily exited the plane as those standing around clapped for him. It was fantastic! I think it's safe to say that Asher's got the flying passion in his blood. And, we are ok with that.

Glad you had a great first flight, sweet boy! We love you and all of your awesomeness!

Falling for Fall

2011-10-12T20:11:00.000-04:00

This year, whenever I think of fall, I start singing that 'feels like we're falling for fall' (or something like that) song that I keep hearing on one of Asher's preschool TV channels. It's a lovely little ditty.

Anyways, taking a break from workworkwork to post a few pictures of my craftiness. Pinterest has sucked me in and I got a few ideas I wanted to do for our Halloween decor. Rusty rolled his eyes at this, but I insisted it's important. Now, Asher goes outside and plays with his mini pumpkins, tries to pick up the larger ones and tracks hay back into our house. Sensory experience.

I can be crafty when I want to be.

Monogram fall door decor.

Little spice for the pumpkins.

Cheap, flowy ghosts from Michael's. Reusing plant hooks.

Craft pumpkins. White outdoor craft paint.

Asher took over the HT scanner when no one was looking.

2011-10-03T20:13:00.001-04:00

Sick little man

2011-10-03T20:10:00.001-04:00

Sometimes sweet Asher, I just don't want to put you down. I can't imagine what it'll be like when you no longer want to snuggle me like this. Heart. Melting.

Our weekend recap

2011-10-03T16:47:00.001-04:00

This weekend, Asher attended his first Wolfpack football game! We had great tickets (50 yard line, lower level) and an awesome parking spot just outside of Vaughn Towers. Very convenient with a toddler.

And, Asher LOVED it. The sweet little girl behind us had Asher doing the wolf sign by the end of the game. (We have video proof. Stay tuned.) He danced to the band. Learned to say 'first down'. And learned the fundamentals of football from his dad.

Side note: In all my years of attending Wolfpack football games, student years included, I've never been puked on. Until this weekend. Some drunk girl three people down got sick all over herself and everyone within a two-person radius. And, on her way out, smeared it on Rusty, me and the woman next to me. It was dis-gust-ing. Thankfully, we all had a back up layer of clothing in the car. Yuck. And, of course I had the hand sanitizer to share with all who needed it.

So, then, Sunday we enjoyed a family outing to Laurel Hills Park. I recruited Rusty to do all the crawling around the tunnels and following Asher. I stayed on the ground and took cute photos. Too cute. All the way around.

And, a big shout out to my husband. This weekend, he not only let me sleep in a bit, but he emptied and reloaded the dishwasher and made Asher meals and cleaned up. And folded a mountain of clothes. I didn't even ask him to do these things. He's pretty amazing. Thanks, babe.

More cuteness because I'm a freak with this camera.

Don't worry, it was decaf.

Baller.

Future point guard.

The Baby Dos Experience @ 20 weeks

2011-10-02T21:23:00.000-04:00

I'm going to keep this short and sweet. My little man is under the weather and I do believe tonight is going to be a long night of ups and downs. Between my nonstop peeing and sinus infection and his snot and coughing and overall uncomfortableness, I will need a nap tomorrow (after the doctors visits ahead of us).

Anyways, so here we are! 20 weeks (and 2 days). I'm feeling great, actually! I was thrilled when I put on my skinny maternity jeans from the first and second trimesters the first time around and they were baggy. Like, wouldn't stay up and were really annoying, baggy. Woop woop!

I heard the doctor say words on Friday that I have never heard before at an OB appointment: Well, you didn't really gain any weight since your last visit. Which is ok, because the baby is growing right on track. Holllleeerrrrrrr! Now, please know I'm not dieting (by any means) or worrying about my weight nonstop. But I was a little alarmed at how fast the weight came on the first trimester. So, I'm relieved that it seems to be leveling off some. Saves room for all that water weight at the end, right?

So yes, feeling good. Excited to meet the new little man in my life. Excited about the holidays and all that awesome stuff, too! There is something extra magical about being pregnant during Christmas.

Ok. Goodnight, ya'll. Off to care for the sick.

It's a...

2011-09-30T16:31:00.000-04:00

We are thrilled to announce that Big Bro Asher is going to have a Lil Bro!

All looked great on the ultrasound. Lil Bro is measuring right on time, weighs about 12 oz. and is quite the wiggler.

Thank you for all the prayers. We are very thankful to have another healthy boy on the way.

Dear 17-year old Asher,

2011-09-28T13:58:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, kid, you turned 17 months old.

And boy, let me tell you, you are awesome.

Your dad and I look at each other all the time and say, "Wow! He is so freaking awesome/cute/smart/adorable/whateverotheradjectivefitsatthemoment." I texted your dad the other day and told him that you are the best thing we ever did.

But, I realize you are now 17 years old reading this. You are probably rolling your eyes at the sentimental stuff. I get it. It's not stopping me though. So bear with me, please.

Right about now, I'm imagining...

You have probably convinced your dad that a new car is a good idea. And I'm probably still disagreeing. And I'll tell you how these days you drive your cars up and down your little ramps making vroom motor noises. Your little fingers grasp those little cars so proudly. And you will roll your eyes again, probably.

I'm certain you are a fabulous big brother. Right now, you're learning to say 'baby' (among your rapidly growing vocabulary). You stroll your baby doll and share your sippy with it. You have no idea what is about to come your way, as I'm almost 20 weeks pregnant with your little sibling. I hope that we do a better than good job of introducing you to the notion and reality of a new addition to the family. I hope you always feel loved. Each minute of every single day.

I'm certain our love for you will have increased at a rate and pace that we can't even fathom now. You will have touched so many lives by now. You will be so close to being a man.

I hope you beg to sleep in on the weekends so that I can go in and wake you up. Payback, kid, for your lack of sleeping skills thus far. When I peek in on you to be sure you're home from wherever you went that night, I'll remember how it is today. In the last few weeks, you have almost welcomed your bed. You lay your head on your pillow, pull Nemo or Ames up under your arms and fall asleep with your bottom in the air. And sometimes, you'll pull the blanket up and around your shoulders and tuck it in underneath your chest. Seriously, it makes me melt.

I know, I know you're probably groaning and want to stop reading the sappyness right about now and looking at your unmade tangled bedsheets (since I'm sure you'll take after your dad in that department) and wanting to crawl back in and take a nice, long nap.

I trust you'll keep your sweet manners and treat everyone with respect and love. You've been saying 'thank you' since about a year of age. And now, you are so polite it makes my heart explode. I'll hand you your sippy and you'll say 'thank you' in that sweet voice. You'll thank the grocery store clerks. Waiters and waitresses. Ahhhh, seriously. So sweet. You seem to know the appropriate times to say it. It's pretty awesome.

I plead with you, please don't ever be too cool or too grown or too anything to tell us you love us. I want you to be as happy to hug me as a teenager as you are right now. I hope when your dad gets home from work, you still (somewhat) show him how excited you are that he's back. You've just started to say 'I love you' in toddler speak. We'll say 'bye' and you'll say 'bye. I love you.' It may not be clear to everyone, but we know what you're saying.

I want you to know, 17-year old Asher, that we have thoroughly loved each and every moment with you these first 17 months of your life (despite any rantings you may read about on here). We are so honored to call you our son. And we can't wait to see the man you will become.

The other day, I was listening to Pandora Radio (I'm sure you are thinking, what? Pandora Radio? Huh?) on the computer while I was working. A version of Simple Man began to play.

I stopped what I was doing and thought of you and the words of this song. They are so powerful and yet so simple. And they ring true in my heart.

So, please (pretty please?) go online or on your phone or to the magical music world in the future and listen to Simple Man by Shinedown.

Do it for me.

And if you do this, it'll help you some sunny day.
And don't live too fast.
And don't forget that there's someone up above.
And be a simple kind of man.
Oh, don't you worry. You'll find yourself.
Follow your heart and nothing else.
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try.
And all that I want from you my son is to be satisfied.
And be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me, son, if you can?

We love you, Asher Ray. Since before you were even 17 seconds old. And now 17 months old. 17 years old. And every millisecond in between and still ahead.

Love,
Mom

The Baby Dos Experience

2011-09-18T21:41:00.002-04:00

I keep getting asked how this pregnancy compares to the last one. Good question.

Here's the skinny (which, in this case is not so skinny):

Way sicker in the first trimester with this pregnancy. Once the sickness went away (completely around 15 weeks), I feel pretty great. Just tired.
No terrible teen acne with this pregnancy like I had with the first. So, that's good.
First pregnancy, I had terrible sciatic nerve pain from the beginning. Walking sent shooting pains up my leg and into my hips. My feet hurt, too. I think this time around, my hips are already spread out and adjusted down there so Dos is just comfy as is. That's nice.
Don't sleep great. That happened with both pregnancies. And not expecting any improvement in this area.
Starting to get heartburn here and there. Didn't have it this early with Asher.
Weight gain came on fast(er) this time. Wowzers. I swear I was showing at 10 weeks, if not before. Seems to have leveled out now though (hopefully).
Far more exhausted this time. Probably something to do with chasing a toddler and running my own biz. You know, those minor things.
Way more congested this time with constant sore throat. Not sure if it's a cold (Rusty's vote) or allergies (my vote) or pregnancy rhinitis (please no).

I haven't bought anything for Dos yet. At least not that I can think of. Not sure what I'm waiting for. Probably to find out if it's a boy or girl. Boy, I don't need to do much shopping at all. Girl, I will need to restrain myself and try to borrow as much as possible from Hadley. (Thanks in advance, Christal!) Anyways, we already have much of what we'll need. Some of the items on my wishlist, though, are a Britax double stroller, Angelcare monitor and a SnuzaGo! monitor. Those are biggies! Yep, these things will be invaluable to me. Peace of mind is hard to come by for me with a newborn. I'm so thankful for these resources and plan to use as many as I can.

Baby Dos won't have a nursery. I know, I know. What? But we don't have room since I'm working out of the house. Asher stayed in our room downstairs for the first six or eight months (until we all relocated upstairs and moved office downstairs). I love this new upstairs sleeping/downstairs living arrangement. But that leaves no bedroom for the newest addition. So, I'm going to make a little nursery corner in our room until it's time to regroup. (This would have NEVER been an option the first time around. Funny how things change.)

If we can get this beach house sold, we'll be able to buy a lot (fingers crossed), sell our house and start to build our dream house. (More on that later.) But, at this point I don't think the beach house is going anywhere anytime soon. And, so, I'm trying to work my hindparts off alongside Rusty to start saving money as a back up plan.

All is well though. Better than well! We are blessed with each other, good health, a great home, awesome family and friends and work to keep us busy - among many other things. So, I'm trying to not stress over this space issue and make TONS of room for Dos in our hearts, which is what's most important anyway. We are very excited to meet this kid!

I'm sleepy now. So, that's all the rambling I've got in me for now. Night night!

Feeling extra thankful tonight.

2011-09-12T19:26:00.001-04:00

Working with my music playing.

And this. I had to replay.

Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen.

And you can tell everybody, that this is your song.
It may be quite simple, but now that it's done.
I hope you don't mind.
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words.
How wonderful life is while you're in the world.

Go Ask Mom & North Hills Kids event

2011-09-12T14:54:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, we attended the GoAskMom event at North Hills. It was lots of fun! Asher had a great time playing with the him-sized chess pieces. Climbing on the foam shapes and making Rusty chase after him in the hot sun.

When we were leaving, Sarah (GoAskMom editor) asked Asher to wave 'bye' to end the recap video for WRAL's site. He did brilliantly. Him and Rusty certainly are not camera shy.

Anxiety: I hate my bedtime rituals.

2011-09-10T22:52:00.001-04:00

If you or anyone you love struggles with OCD, you'll be able to relate to this post. For years, as I have dealt with my anxiety, there is always one thing that is of peak concern that becomes my current obsession. In middle school, that was the need to confess compulsively. In college and high school, it was blood and the risk of HIV. After college it was securing my apartment (since I lived alone). Even as a newlywed, this night time securing ritual was still pretty bad.

I dreaded bedtime, as much as I loved to sleep. When living alone, I would get up and check the locks. And go back to bed. And get back up. And yell at myself or start to tear up. And repeat it over and over. I would finally either wear myself out or tell myself, "It's your OCD, Kira. Everything is fine." Then there were the days that I was afraid to even so much as leave a light on (much less the curling iron or stove) for fear that I was going to burn down my apartment building, and harm Jax. I'd get out to my car and go back in to check everything. Then check the door locks, over and over. It was awful.

Some of you may be reading this and thinking, what the hell? But it's very real to me. And to many out there who also struggle with this sort of anxiety. So, I knew when I became a mom that I'd be more anxious than the average mama bear. I knew I'd sleep less. Check more. And just have a hard time settling down in this head of mine. Boy did that turn out to be true. Times 100. My usual anxiety coupled with post partum issues sent me into a tailspin. Now, I'm back to what I'd consider a better than normal amount of OCD anxiety. (Thank you medication.)

Lately I've been thinking... Each night, Rusty goes to bed and falls peacefully to sleep. He doesn't need to check baby gates or even peep in on Asher. And I know he loves that boy as much as I do. But I can't do that. I have to go through my nightly rituals. I know all moms check on their babies, right? But my process is over the top. And it's exhausting. And I hate it.

It goes like this:

Check all downstairs locks.
Check to be sure Jax is in the house and collarless and has water.
Be sure all gates are closed keeping Jax off carpeted areas.
Be sure all Scentsy warmers are either turned off, or nothing is close to touching them.
Go upstairs. Close gates on the stairs. Check that they are double locked. (Asher has figured out the normal shut lock mechanism. So, we now have to do the little toddler proof double latch.)
Go into bedroom. Find red flashlight next to my bed. Check Asher on video monitor.
Tiptoe into his room.
Shine the flashlight on him. Check to be sure Rusty remembered to remove his bib.
Shine the light on the outlets and power strips. Be sure no toys are on top of anything and that all outlets are covered.
Shine the light on the video monitor cord and be sure it goes over the window frame and down the other side with no way for Asher to get ahold of it.
Check what's in the crib with Asher. Be alert for anything that may be a choking hazard within reach or on the floor (in case he gets out).
Check room temperature. (This leads to going back down to adjust the thermostat about 50% of the time. Which then leads to a repeat of most of what's above.)
Check Asher again.
Tiptoe back out. Shut his door, be sure it's shut all the way. Or, leave it cracked and be sure the gate in his doorway is double latched. (Yes, we have a lot of gates. But I have this fear that he'll figure out how to crawl out of his crib and venture out and around upstairs without us noticing. The idea of him falling down the stairs or getting into something electrical or a choking hazard petrifies me.)
Take a bathroom break. Check gates again.
Put flashlight back next to the bed. Check the monitor. Try to sleep.

So, there you go. A not so pretty look into this head of mine and my nightly rituals. Just now, I should be in bed. But I dread the process. Sigh.

What's the point of this post? I'm not really sure. For other moms out there to know that some of this extra anxiety is normal. And some could benefit from some treatment if it's extreme. For other really anxious moms out there to know they are not alone. To hope that someone reads and comments that they are the same way and I feel less crazy and alone. Any of those things would be a good outcome.

Well. Goodnight, world. :)

Cute overload. Park date with the triplets.

2011-09-09T08:30:00.000-04:00

There are not enough words for the loveliness in these photos. These sweet triplets may be the most photogenic babes ever. So fun to capture them playing at the park with Asher!

To me, this park date was exhausting since everyone now knows how to roam, where they want to roam, what they want to climb, what they want to pick up and eat and where they do not want to go. And, we had three adults to four kids. Yes we needed that many adults - there was no fence around the perimeter and multiple play areas for the kids to choose from. I had my workout, for sure.

Our week. In mobile photos.

2011-09-08T20:48:00.000-04:00

New shoes. New shoe size. Park adventures. Toddler chasing adventures. Snacks on the go. Typical work day.

Baby necessity (at least for me): Clean Shopper shopping cart cover

2011-09-06T16:59:00.000-04:00

As much as I try, I just can't plop Asher in the shopping cart without his cart cover. I've read articles about the bacteria and feces and such found on shopping carts. And think about it, these things are never washed. Unless, they happen to ride out a good rainstorm in the parking lot and a good drying out from the sun.

Anyways, I found an awesome cart cover at a consignment sale before Asher was born. Without realizing it, I had purchased a Babe Ease Clean Shopper cart cover. These things retail for more than the covers you'll find at Target or Walmart. But, their coverage and durability is fan-freaking-tastic. They have fit every size of cart I've ever put them on. They velcro around the edges. And machine washing is a breeze.

Recently, I picked up a second one for $4 at the big kids sale at the fairgrounds. Now, I can alternate which one is in the wash and which is riding along the car. I also ditched my Fisher Price high chair cover and just use the Clean Shopper. It's a little baggy, but it does the trick (especially on those funky shaped high chairs at K&W Cafeteria).

I just saw on Facebook that effective Sept. 15, Babe Ease is closing down so the owner can pursue a dream career in screenwriting. What does this mean for all of us? We need to go get Clean Shoppers now before they go away forever. Consider this your tip from me. And right now, they are 35% off. I imagine that will likely increase.

Enjoy germ free shopping!

Amazon Mom & Subscribe and Save

2011-09-01T11:32:00.001-04:00

Ok ya'll. I am all for saving money and cutting corners. But, I do not have time to do all that crazy coupon clipping. Nor do I have the patience. I gots otha stuff ta do, right. (Sorry listening to old school rap over here. Rubbing off on me.)

Today I just wanted to share a few pointers. I signed up for Amazon Mom a while back and enjoyed the benefits immensely. I received free two-day shipping on all of my purchases (provided that I made Mom purchases every now and then, nothing crazy). The amount of money I saved on shipping alone was insane. I found myself ordering smaller items (like paci's and diaper pail refills) on Amazon, getting them the next day and never having to leave my desk. You know I love an online purchase. Oh, and it's free to sign up. Did I say that already?

Last month, I checked our prices for Huggies Overnight dipes on Amazon. (These bad boys are critical in our house.) They were comparable to other places or even a little less. I ordered a box and this time chose to enroll in the Subscribe and Save program. So, I chose how often I wanted to receive a box of the dipes (every 3 months) and I got 30% off (15% for Amazon Mom and 15% for Subscribe and Save) and free shipping. This month, the box landed on my doorstep right on time (running low from first box) and I got them for something ridiculously cheap like $14.64. I even got an email from a friend asking me if I was signed up because she got a giant box of Pampers for dirt cheap too. Depending on what kind of diapers your use, this may be worth checking out!

Last night, I added my Huggies wipes to my Mom Subscribe and Save account. I am weird and not only prefer Huggies wipes over the others (b/c of the thickness) but there's this one smell that I love. And they are not easy to find. I'm pregnant and my nose is crazy, so I stick with what smells good to me. Now, I'm getting a supply of the wipes sent to my door every 3 months at 30% off the already cheap Amazon cost. Score!

Amazon prompted me at checkout (smart) to check out their other Subscribe and Save products. There's a whole ton of products that you typically use routinely that are all 15% off if you subscribe. I checked out my Baby Dropps laundry pouches and again, the savings was better than the others I found. (These Dropps became an addiction when I first got them from babysteals.com. They are so easy to use. No mess. And safe for Asher's sensitive skin. I can't afford them full price with my budget, but this savings worked.) I plan to look into other products we use (like contact solution, etc.) and compare prices.

So, in summary. Check it out. It works for me - an online shopper, busy working mom and trying-to-stay-on-a-budget-and-keep-hubs-happy-wife. Happy saving! Oh, and if you find a kick booty deal, do share.

Pregnancy super power: sense of smell

2011-08-28T19:40:00.000-04:00

Since being pregnant, my super power sense of smell has been in full force. I smell things around the house that no one else does.

Example. One night, I woke up in the middle of the night convinced that our upstairs smelled like a porta john. In reality, it was a wet diaper in the bathroom down the hall that probably should have gone into the diaper pail. I seriously could not sleep until that smell was gone. So I disposed of the diaper, sprayed some Lysol and finally went back to sleep.

Tonight, the sense of smell made for a fabulous walk around the neighborhood. Here's what I smelled and the memories/thoughts they brought to mind.

Grass clippings - Back home, for some reason. And summer.
Something dead - Nausea, wondering if someone was dead in that house since it was so overgrown and stunk. Morbid, I know.
Barn - I don't know where this scent came from, but it reminded me of when I showed a goat at the fair with the 4-H as a child. Smelled like the inside of that barn.
Grill mixed with smoke - College. Ah, college. Smelled like a walk through campus.

All within a short 10-minute walk. See how fun that was?

Random baby necessity: Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter

2011-08-25T12:35:00.000-04:00

This is more of a pregnancy necessity than a baby necessity, but you get the gist.

When I was pregnant with Asher, I religiously put the Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Balm on my giant belly daily. I began to associate the light scent with the feeling of pregnancy. And I even had a few OB's compliment me on how lovely my belly skin was (yes, that's a little strange).

I've read that these belly balms don't really prevent stretch marks, that it's in your genetics. But, I do think that keeping your skin moisturized has to help in some way or another. If only to keep you comfortable.

So, this go around, I've had really, really dry skin. I was at Target the other day and did my swing by the Burt's Bees section to get some Belly Balm. I noticed it wasn't there. In its place was the new Mama Bee Belly Butter.

Verdict: Love it. Love it even more than the balm. I don't think the tub will last me as long as the balm did, but we shall see. It's incredibly moisturizing. Go out and get some ladies. And enjoy the softness.

Happy baby growing!

Hanging in the hood

2011-08-23T21:23:00.000-04:00

Asher has been quite the handful this evening.

He alternated between wild and miserable. His molars are all coming through. His gums feel like they have M&M's or something just under the skin, so bumpy. Makes me cringe just thinking about how that feels for him.

Anyways, he whined and wimpered and pretty much drove me bonkers all afternoon and evening. So, I did what always works. I took the kid outside.

Initially, we were going to check the mail before bath and bed time. Asher had other plans.

The kid took off waving and saying 'Hi' to the sweet boy next door. Next thing I know, he's toddler-running out in the middle of the culdesac to play some ball. And running around gabbing nonstop. It was hilarious.

And seriously, in this video clip, my kid looks like a bobble head. Ha. Bless him.

Olivia's First Birthday

2011-08-21T22:28:00.001-04:00

Celebrating Olivia's first birthday was the highlight of our weekend! (A close second was sweet Asher's first real hair cut. I kind of pouted through it because he doesn't look a thing like a baby anymore. But, I digress.)

I was so tickled to have my new camera with me to capture some of the moments. Asher had a great time playing with Olivia and friends. And I had an even greater time hanging with Denise and her fab family that I lovesomuch.

You know, it seems like only yesterday we were in college, doing our thing. Starting our careers. Getting married. And then, introducing our new babies. And here we are today, tackling (and enjoying!) motherhood together one phone call, email or visit at a time. Love you, Neek.

Hanging with Olivia.

2011-08-20T22:03:00.001-04:00

My best friend, Denise, is here in North Carolina for a few weeks. And she has her little Miss Olivia in tow for the trip, of course. Asher and I were thrilled to spend a few days with these two ladies. Here are a few pics.

Please note, however, that not everyone loves to splatter their little ones on the interwebs as much as me. So, out of respect for Denise's husb (who is not a huge fan of just that), I'm going to keep the photos of Miss O to a minimum. Until someone tells me otherwise, of course. :)

This should maybe be Char-Grill's next ad.

Look what I found. Just for you.


See! There are lots! And if you hurry, you may can taste one before anyone notices.

Hangin' tough.

This is the story about a boy. And his rain.

2011-08-18T21:05:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time, a little boy named Asher discovered the rain.
Pouring off the roof. It amazed him.

He stayed at that window for as long as he was allowed.
And then, something magical happened.
His momma took him outside to play.

After a few minutes of feeling the water with his hands, Asher
bound out onto the patio, toddling in the rain.

He didn't mind that he was getting soaked. In fact, he loved it.
Asher signed 'more, more' again and again. Running down to the grass.
Smiling, squealing. Splashing around.

Seeing a new area full of puddles, Asher darted to the front yard.
He stomped in the water. Then realized, "There are rocks in this water!"

So, he sat down and played with them.
Until his momma became nervous that he was sitting under a tree.
In a puddle. And there was thunder.

Back inside Asher came. Covered in water and dirt. And happy as can be.
The end.

Beach weekend with the Tripps

2011-08-15T14:20:00.000-04:00

So, we went to beach with our BFF's the Tripps. Christal and I went to college together and reconnected when we realized we were both pregnant at the same time.

Little Miss Hadley was born just a few weeks before Asher and our friendship has grown right along with our toddlers. Hadley and Asher hit all their milestones at just about the same time (if not the exact same time) and enjoy each other's company just as much as their mommies do.

We had the Tripps join us at the beach house for a little mini vacay (as much as a vacay can be a vacay with two 16 month olds) this past weekend. We had a lot of fun and Christal and I chased the kids around with our cameras the entire time.

Here are my faves from my cameras. Ok, there a lots of faves. Be prepared for a ton of photos.

And Tripps, we must do it again soon. Before the house sells, because it's going to sell super fast you know. :)

My waterboys.

2011-08-14T21:32:00.000-04:00

We went to our beach house this weekend with good friends Christal, Buddy and Hadley. I have lots of fun pictures to share. But, first. You must see and enjoy this series of shots of Rusty and Asher enjoying the ocean together. So stinkin cute. I had this huge permagrin on my face the entire time I was editing these. Well, and while we were actually enjoying the moment itself. I grinned then, too.

It went something like this. Over and over again.

Rusty: "Asher, here it comes! Here comes the wave!"

(Both boys point at approaching wave.)

Rusty: "Ready? Woooo!"

(Splash!)

Asher: Giggle. Giggle. Squeal of delight.

Ah, does my heart good.

(p.s. Taken with my old point and shoot. No way was Rusty letting our new camera anywhere near that beach.)

Poll: Chinese gender predictor

2011-08-08T15:35:00.001-04:00

Ok. It's about to get a little complicated here. We've all heard of the Chinese gender predictor chart, right? My last OB had a chart inserted in their pregnancy packet for fun. And of course, I've looked at some versions online.

And I quickly realized - they are not all the same! How am I supposed to believe one or the other, or any of them? So, this brought about a few things that puzzle me. (I'm about to list them. I told you this was complicated.) But this is how my mind works and I need someone else to think it through with me.

I realize this is all in good fun. But I want to share these, find out how accurate they were for others and then, maybe just maybe, find a chart that's more accurate than all the rest. And, have it predict Kroboth Numero Dos for me. See? Simple as that.

So, what I found out along the way -

Lunar age - Apparently there's this conversion to your Chinese Lunar age that is necessary in order to accuaretly predict the gender of your kid. This site says "Without a correct lunar mother age and a correct lunar month of baby conception, the result of your calculation will be totally different."

Um, none of the other charts mention this lunar age. Does this mean that conversion is already done? Or they are just ignoring that factor?

For the record, when I was 29 and got preggo with Asher, my lunar age was 30. So, that meant the prediction was girl girl girl across the majority of the year. This time around, my lunar age is 32 and it predicts girl girl girl again.

(I have probably either totally lost you or bored you. At this point. My apologies. Moving on...)
Date of conception - I know we all just guess dates of conception, right? Is that the time you tried to get preggo or the time that fertilization took place or what? There's a range there.

In the case of Asher, that range determined whether I was having a boy or a girl when referring to most of the charts. Conception in July - she. Conception in August - he. So I guess it was August, maybe? Who knows.

According to most charts I've seen for this kid, it's a girl no matter what month I conceived. We're looking again at a possibility of May or June. Both say it's a girl, according to this chart.
Different versions - Not only are there versions that mention this lunar age thing, there are just plain different versions in general.

Evidence: this chart says Asher was a boy no matter if he conceived in July or August. (It does show that Dos is a girl, though, again.)

You get the point I'm trying to make here, right? Sigh. So much data!

I found a website that was trying to poll people to determine which of two versions was more accurate. It wasn't set up very well though, so I got lost in the process. But I did see the results were pretty much the same. Both were accurant 60-something% of the time.

All of the charts seem to indicate a resounding 'girl' prediction for Kroboth Numero Dos. We shall see somewhere around week 20. For the record, I would love to have a daughter. But, I also would love to have another boy. (I keep hearing how girls are so much harder!) What matters most is that this kid is healthy.

If you want to humor me, click on the links above and tell me if they were right for you. Leave a comment and let me know. Or you can shake your head and think, "That girl is crazy for thinking this through." :)

Good times. Exciting times.

Our waterboy

2011-08-06T09:00:00.033-04:00

Well, I think Rusty got his wish. This kid seems to be a waterboy. He loves all things water and seems to have no fear. (My heart skips a beat.)

Friday, in an effort to surely wear out the waterboy and ensure us both a good nap (which, didn't happen, by the way) we went outside and played with the water hose. No need for fancy sprinklers or sand and water tables here. Just some Target buckets, random toys and the hose. Really, we just needed the hose. The other items were just sideline bonuses.

Asher plodded around the driveway with the hose. Experimenting with moving it around and watching the water follow. It was a cute thing to watch.

Then, he aimed that thing right at his face and was shocked by the result. I heard him gasp audibly as the water toppled onto this head. And then he burst out laughing. At the same time, he couldn't figure out how to get the water to stop blasting him in the face. He just walked around in circles squirting water in his own face, and thinking it was hilarious and rather alarming, too.

Then it hit him: Oh, I control this thing. Got it.

It was so freaking funny. I literally peed my pants watching. Yes, I typed that and yes, I'm serious. (Come on, I've had one kid and preggo with another. You know it happens.) I called Rusty laughing so hard I was crying and informed him of the situation. I then ran inside and grabbed my camera to capture this great toddlerness.

And this is when the real fun began. Squirt here. Squirt there. Splash, splash, stomp. Explore. Giggle. Play in the grass. Gather some sticks. Chase my mom with the water. Hose myself in the face repeatedly. Up. Down. Up. Down. Don't make me go insiiiiiiiiide.

Good times. Good times. Love it. Love, love, love this kid. I mean, I know ya'll know that. But, just saying.

Happy weekending!

Baby necessities: back seat mirror that actually works

2011-08-05T10:00:00.020-04:00

This is random and I've been meaning to post it forever. But I found the best back seat mirror ever.

I started out with a hand-me down mirror and a few we received as gifts. But none of them worked. Because my car seats are slightly angled (as they should be), the mirror would often just show me the top of Asher's head or the roof of my car. Not helpful. So I'd have to roll up and blanket and put it there and adjust and adjust and readjust. It was obnoxious.

Then, we introduced the DVD player to our back seat. (Cue the hallelujah chorus on this one. Best money ever spent.) So that meant moving the mirror around as we moved the DVD player around testing various setups.

I set out online hunting for a mirror that actually showed me my child, stayed put and could be easily moved throughout the car - always giving me a sweet image of my little one. I found this one. And I love it. We have it now positioned just in front of Asher and he can see me. I can see him. And he can see himself. He will watch Signing Time on the DVD player and practice his signs. And I grin from the front seat.

It's affordable and definitely way cheaper than all the other little mirrors I went through. So, if you are in the market for a back seat baby watcher - grab this one up!

Asher says buy my beach house!

2011-08-04T15:58:00.002-04:00

We're trying to sell the beach house. And start working on our dream house here in Raleigh, since our little family is growing, growing. But you know, I'm not sure many people are out looking around for beach houses these days. Just in case, Asher pointed out a few of the highlights for you here. If you want to learn more, go here.

End: personal real estate plea.

Trip to the NC Aquarium

2011-08-04T15:38:00.001-04:00

A few weeks back, we went to the beach for the weekend. It was brutally hot outside, so we spent the day indoors in the nice, cool air of the NC Aquarium at Pine Knoll Shores.

The trick was keeping Asher in the stroller. Once we let him out (at the end of our visit), there was no stopping him. He was all over the place and most unhappy with the prospect of returning to the stroller.

Here are a few pics of the highlights. Seriously, ya'll, how freaking cool that we got to pet a real live baby loggerhead? Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

How we got our groove back.

2011-08-03T19:24:00.000-04:00

And no, not 'groove' like you're thinking. Or maybe you aren't thinking that way at all. Ha. But anyways, this post is about how Rusty and I got back into the groove of our marriage post wedding-pregnancy-baby-colickybaby-maternityleave-backtowork-quitmyjob-sleeplessnights-alloftheabove life changes.

I'm honest about these things. (I wonder how long it'll take Rusty to read this post and be like, 'Did you really write about that?') We had a rough time of it. We had a lot of things happen in our life all at once. (Update: He just read over my shoulder and said, 'I don't want you writing about this on the internet.' To which I replied, 'It could be helpful for someone. I'm writing it.') We had lots of conversations about how to better communicate and get on the same page. How to establish some household routines that would make life easier for both of us. We sometimes seemed to be talking in circles. But, through all of this, one thing remained constant - we both wanted it to work and we'd work at it. We'd do what it takes to get our groove back.

Randomly, one day, I was emailing with a close friend about how marriage changes with the addition of babies. She mentioned that some of her friends were going to a counselor and had found the book The Five Love Languages to be very helpful. Of course, I immediately googled it and 'take the love language quiz' popped up on the official website. I read the instructions and took the quiz for wives.

In short (aka Kira's summary), the basis of the book is that everyone communicates in one of five love languages. Different people prefer to show their love and receive love in these languages. So, for example, if your husband prefers to be shown love in one language and you're operating in another, that causes issues. After working through the quiz, I realized it kind of made sense. And, my love language was 'acts of service'. Bingo! Yes! I felt most loved when Rusty did laundry or something like that without my asking. Not romantic at all, I know. But, hey, it's how I operate. A close second language was 'receiving gifts', which didn't necessarily mean monetary gifts, just thoughtful surprises. Bingo again! And dead last on my language list was 'physical touch'. Sounded about right considering where we were at in our lives.

I immediately messaged Rusty and urged him to take the husband quiz. And bless him, he did. Turns out, his main language of love is 'physical touch'. We chatted about both of our results and how right on they seemed.

In the weeks that followed, I had my BFF and her husb take the quiz. It was right on for them. I had my mom and dad take the quiz. Again, spot on. It seemed like such a simple concept, but somehow the quiz and the conversations that followed seemed to be a turning point in our home.

Here are a few examples. (If you're still reading and interested in this at all. Ha.)

We were riding home from somewhere. It had been a long day. Rusty was driving. So, I reached over like I used to do when we were dating and rubbed his neck and temples. He thanked me for that and said, "This is making me want to think of an act of service I can do for you." It was hilarious. But so true. My reaching over and touching him showed him my love. Simple as that.

Then, another day we were packing to go somewhere. And I was stressed because we were leaving Asher at home without us for the first time overnight. I was paranoid about having all of the light socket protectors in everywhere before we left. I found a lone plug just waiting for his little fingers upstairs. I yelled down, "Rusty, please remind me to come back up and put a socket cover up here before we leave." (Realizing that'll probably never happen and I need to add that to my to do list.) Then, I walked down the stairs after putting Asher in bed and there, sitting on the third step was a socket cover. A. He went and found where I stored them. B. He remembered. C. He stopped what he was doing and brought it to where I'd see it (without disturbing our bedtime upstairs). D. He realized I was stressed and tried to help.

I got a huge smile on my face. Grabbed the cover, inserted it in the wall. Ran downstairs and gave him a big hug and kiss. Act of service = physical touch = love.

Oh, and then when we went to Florida on vacation. He brought along a little surprise from Bailey's Jewelers. He was so determined to surprise me that he hid the little box in a kleenex box in his suitcase. How freaking precious is that?

So, all of this to say that something so simple helped us so much. Rusty is such a huge help around the house and with Asher. He's an awesome dad and husband. Thankfully, we were able to get through all the little bumps in the road and come out on the other side appreciating and understanding each other more. Cue: thankfulness.

(Rusty, if you're reading this. Love you, babe. Sorry, had to write it.)

Videos: Around the house

2011-07-28T18:35:00.002-04:00

I don't remember exactly when Asher started spinning around. But it's hilarious. He gets so dizzy and stumbles around. And, yes, we laugh. Here's a video. He loves it.

And tonight, just now. Asher's flying around the living room like he's in a Jetson's space vehicle. Ok, yes, this is maybe far fetched. But it entertained me. (As a side note, this cool toy - the Bilibo - encourages creative play. It has no real purpose. And it can be used for so much. Tonight, it's a fly mobile.)

Now I lay me down to sleep....

2011-07-28T18:11:00.000-04:00

Here's a random thought for you all. One that I think of at night when Asher and I are saying our prayers.

You know the part, "Guard me Jesus through the night, wake me in the morning light."

I used to think, "Wake me in the morning light? Um, I'd rather sleep way past the morning light." (Yes, these are the thoughts of an overthinker. I won't even go into the revisions I make to the prayer to cover all of my OCD thoughts and ramblings.)

Anyways, multiple times post-Asher when saying that prayer I have thought, "Yes, please wake me in the morning light and not before. Please. No nighttime wakings."

And that is my random thought for your day.

Memories

2011-07-21T10:38:00.000-04:00

This morning, I broke out the Fisher Price airport sets from my childhood days. I've been waiting for the day that I could introduce these to Asher. I have so many memories of playing with this set and my cousins out at Cille's house. Thankfully, my aunt held onto the toys so I could pass them on to Asher.

How fun! Love the vintage look. Now I just need to hit up ebay for the accessories. We seem to be missing all the people and cars. But, we do have the passenger jet (with its broken wing).

Currently Asher is relocating the regional airport and teething on the fuel pump. Good times. :)

2 under 2: You can call us crazy

2011-07-18T17:21:00.001-04:00

Here we go again, ya'll. Yep, we're pregnant. Well, I'm pregnant. Rusty is busy being a very supportive, helpful husband of a preggo. Asher is busy being a toddler that loves climbing all over his momma. I'm busy being nauseous all.day.long. With a peak in the misery in the evenings.

Thankfully, my new OB (love!) gave me a prescription med to help with the night nausea and to encourage rest. So, that's helpful. Very helpful.

I realize how blessed we are to be able to add to our family. And I promise to try to keep that in mind while I'm complaining. But, people, the first trimester is just downright largely unpleasant. And again, I remind myself of this awesome blessing and of being thankful for it all.

Anyways, for those who like details (like me), here is the scoop.

No, this wasn't planned. It wasn't really not planned either though. So, let's just say it came as a surprise.

I had a few things seem off. A few pains in my side that immediately reminded me of pregnancy. And my food (read: favorite brownies) tasted completely different. And, I started having night sweats and crazy dreams.

I thought, could I be? No. But I'll just pee on a stick to be sure. (Girls love peeing on sticks. It's addictive.) So, I did. And it was glaring back at me all positive before I could even put it down on the floor for the 3-minute wait period. I flipped out. Called my besties and flipped out some more. One pointed out that father's day was that coming up weekend, and I should tell Rusty that day. Perfect!

When I calculated the due date (February 17, 2012) myself, I got a little worried. Having a newborn in flu season was not at the top of my list of preferred due dates. It's going to be a true test of my medication. And a test in the patience of my loved ones.

I then quickly went from 'flu season' to 'holy crap, Asher won't even be 2 yet.' So yes, my friends, I'm going to be a mom of 2 under 2. And it's going to be awesome. I just know it.

And yes, you can call us crazy. I know that's what you're thinking. It'll be a wild ride. Oh boy.

Anyways, I still don't know how I kept my mouth shut for 4 or 5 whole days. But I did. Father's Day morning, I dressed Asher bright and early in his 'I'm the big brother' t-shirt (thanks to Amazon's ridiculously fast shipping) and marched him in to wake up his dada. I captured the entire production on video. So freaking precious. And worth the wait. Rusty was over the moon excited!

From that day, we kept the secret mostly to ourselves. Of course, we told Joni so she could understand my moodiness, sleepiness, weight gain, food aversions, dry heaving and all that glory.

Last week, we went to the doctor's office for our first ultrasound to check on Numero Dos. Dos was looking right on track (8 weeks 4 days at the time) and we're now 9 weeks 3 days pregnant. Dos looks perfect. Asher squirmed around, impatient in the exam room and still managed to dazzle all the nurses.

Afterwards, we used the big bro tshirt to tell our families. And of course, they are all very excited for us.

And I keep alternating between 'I feel like total shit' and 'Yay another baby'. I realize those are total opposite ends of the emotional spectrum.

So, I'll stop rambling for now.

We would appreciate prayers for a healthy pregnancy and for God's will to be done with our family. I trust in His plan for us. And I know that this pregnancy happened just when God meant for it to and this little one is another gift from Him to us. We are, indeed, very blessed.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Baby sign language: it works for us!

2011-07-08T16:22:00.001-04:00

We've been signing with Asher since probably around four months. We weren't super good at always doing it, and keeping that consistency up. But, over time, Asher started picking up on signs despite our scattered teachings.

He used to scream and grunt and shake his hands and chair when he wanted more. And scream like, "MmmmMHH, MMmmmHH." One night, Joni imitated him. And from that night on, he started signing 'more'. It's as if he realized he was acting a fool. Today, he reliably signs 'more' whenever he wants more. And it's fantastic!

We've also added a few other signs. 'All done' comes in handy when we're trying to figure out if mealtime is finally over. 'Please' to teach him manners. And 'tweet tweet' for all those chirping birds. We're currently working on 'dog', 'eat' and 'tree'.

He seems to be picking them up so well now. And each time he pulls one out of his pocket on his own, I beam with pride. And it's so stinking awesome to be able to communicate with him at this age. As in truly communicate his wants and needs. I'm hoping it helps keep tantrums to a manageable minimum as we grow up over here.

Little story. The other day, we were riding down the road. And I said, "Look, Asher at all the birds" (commenting on the geese scattered all around). I peered in the mirror to see if he was looking. And he was signing 'tweet tweet'. Heart. Exploded.

We've been using the Baby Signing Time videos as well as Rusty, Joni and me using signs around the house. I highly recommend signing with little ones. It's freaking awesome! And, I'm not sure what it is about those Signing videos, but babies seem to love them. You turn it on, and even at a very young age, Asher was mesmerized. And, I don't feel guilty because it's so educational. Hooray for signing!

Catching up: July 4th weekend

2011-07-08T15:48:00.000-04:00

We had a fairly non eventful Fourth of July. We stayed around the house and tackled a big to do list of home improvement items. We felt very productive! We didn't venture out for fireworks because we were paranoid about messing up Asher's (halfway) sleep schedule. He's been a crazy sporadic sleeper lately, and we didn't want to tempt fate. Lame, I know. But, just wait until you people are blessed with a non-sleeper. You'll understand. :)

We also took a family outing to the Raleigh National Cemetery to place roses on Cille's and Grandpa Paul's grave. I think photos in a cemetery are kind of morbid (persosnal opinion), but I wanted to share a few of these. They are pretty special to me.

Catching up: a dinner with the Kroboths

2011-07-08T15:40:00.000-04:00

Last week (was it last week? maybe the week before?), we went to Goldsboro for dinner with Grammy, Grandpop, Nana and Pop Pop. We had a nice meal and afterwards shared a big Happy Anniversary cookie cake with everyone.

We share our wedding anniversary with Grammy and Grandpop. Last year, they surprised us with a cake at their house. This year, we surprised them!

Asher was in love with Grandpop's cane. He was darting all around with that thing. Finally, he was (kinda) willing to give it back.

He entertained us all!

Catching up: a day at Falls Lake

2011-07-08T15:29:00.003-04:00

Yep. You can stop worrying. We're all alive and well over here. I'm not even sure what happened to prevent me from blogging for so long. I think it's probably partly because I knew I had a ton of photos I wanted to share from my new camera and the whole uploading, editing, posting seemed overwhelming. Because I have THAT many photos I'm in love with.

So, anyways, here goes some catching up.

Asher and I went and spent the day at Falls Lake with my parents a few weeks back. It was super hot out side, but thankfully their camper had AC and all that good stuff. Rusty had a lot of work to do, so we packed up and left him to do his thing for the day. (I still don't understand why he can't get work done with Asher tugging on his leg and me stopping him every two seconds. Humpfh.)

Here are some pics from the day. Asher's really loving the water these days. And, of course, he's as attached to nature as always. Love it.

Well, while they were there, my dad got bit on the eye by a wasp. And, whoa, it swelled up like you wouldn't believe. And, I'm not going to post a picture without his permission. It was that bad. So, Rusty, Asher and I went back the next day to oversee the packing up of everything and ensure it was safe for him to drive home. Here are pics from that day. (Told you I had a lot of pics.)

Asher's Week in Review

2011-06-22T15:20:00.000-04:00

Here we are again. Me, slacking off with a week in review post instead of taking the time to do a 'real' post. I think I've even lost track of where this week's review starts and ends. Hmm, maybe two weeks ago? But, all of this to say, enjoy anyway. He's still super cute no matter how brain boggled his mom is.

For whatever reason, the pics from this day all
reminded me of when I was little. Mom, does he look like me?

Swinging with my dad.

Loving on Pop Pop after a long trike ride around the yard.

Playing peek a boo with Nana.

Can't help it. Still obsessed with his little hands.
And all the things they do.

And, my newest obsession. His little mouth and face.

His newest obsession. Dipping everything. And I mean everything.
Today at lunch, he dipped his rice in my guacamole.
Then, above, the watermelon eventually was dipped in ranch.

Can you imagine how much he'll love chicken crack?

Topless jiapers date with my girl.

Family vacation in photos: Seacrest Beach, Florida

2011-06-13T20:47:00.000-04:00

(Can't believe I haven't posted these yet. Could have sworn I did, but I could have been sleepwalking again. But I digress. Here are some of my fave shots from our trip. Better late than never, right grandparents?)

St. Andrews State Park

Asher's first seashell.

Seacrest Beach

Rusty sailing over to pick me up for a ride.

Aunt Nini

Sweet boys.

Asher's Week in Review

2011-06-10T21:57:00.001-04:00

I had a pretty awesome week. Here are some pics of some of the things I did. (The other times my mom forgot her camera.)

Note: I purposely did not include a shot of my first hair cut which my mom kind of screwed up trying to do it herself. Maybe later.

Hung out in my Gann's yard.

Dug around in some dirt.

Took a trike ride with L'uncle L'al.

Hung out with L'uncle L'al for some grown up conversation.

Ate my first corn on the cob. Holy amazing.
(My mom made me some more a few days later.)

Did some back porch shopping.

Let my mom take a zillion photos of me with her new camera.

Stood on a few chairs.
(My mom snapped this picture before flipping out on me.)

Cried about something that seemed important at the time.

Fed myself some yogurt.

This was some good yogurt. Seriously.
(What? My dad does it!)

Ate my first McDonald's cone.

Decided it's definitely better than the previously mentioned yogurt.

So, I took it down the slide with me.

Had a date with my girlfriend at her place.

Showed her how it's cool to walk into the pond and reach in,
not just feed the turtles from afar.

Showed her how it's fun to grab mucky sticks from the
pond and get gunk in between your toes.

Played with her sand and water table, aka superawesomegoodtime.

Filled a few buckets with sand alongside my gal.

Decided that just because she ate the sand didn't mean I had to.

Asher + Jax + Cheerios

2011-06-10T20:44:00.000-04:00

I left the room for two seconds, maybe 10. Come back in to this scene.

It was hilarious.

Asher was shoving fistfuls of Cheerios on the floor. Jax was furiously eating up each one as fast as he could. And Asher thought it was the funniest. Thing. Ever.

Our favorite toys: Because boys need dolls too.

2011-06-06T23:21:00.000-04:00

My mom is always telling me cute stories from her preschool (check it out: www.thelumps.com). One thing I hear a lot of is how the little boys are obsessed with pushing around the baby strollers. And playing with the shopping cart, kitchen and babies. You know, the typical 'girl stuff'. Could be because they may not have these items at home. I don't know.

But I do know that if Asher wants to do such things, I'm down with it. I want to raise a well-mannered, sensitive, respectful, well-rounded guy. And I think that means things like dolls and kitchens need to be in his world.

When I was a little girl, I had my Lolly. She slept with me every night. She started getting holes in her from all that love. I think back on my childhood and remember her vividly.

A few months back, I did a search online for Lolly. She's considered a vintage toy now and can sometimes be found at auctions and on ebay for $30 or more. I learned that there was a boy version back then, too, named Cholly! I wanted to get one for Asher, but decided to take a different route. That seemed like a lot of money for something that may already be well worn.

So, I decided that Asher needed a rag doll. All his own. Special to him. But, it needed to be machine washable and baby safe.

Naturally, I turned to Etsy (duh). I found a seller that made custom handmade dolls at an affordable price. I emailed her to ask if she's made a little fella before. She sent back immediately (I love a quick response!) that she has a pattern for a boy doll and we got to work creating one for Asher.

Let me tell you, Heathir is a doll (no pun intended). You pick out the hair color, eye color and fabric for his clothes. Seriously, I sent her some color preferences and she sent back photos of fabric color palettes for me to choose between. I felt very much a part of the process. I even asked her if she ever put ears on her dolls, since the dolls I saw in her shop were without ears. I explained that Asher's big ears are very much a part of who he is. (Yeah, they stand out a tad.) She said she'd definitely give it a shot. She even sent a photoshop file of two different ear styles she was toying with. (But, let it be known she doesn't normally share photos of unfinished dolls.) It was a delightful process.

Very soon, Ames arrived in the mail. He came with his own ribbon-close wash bag, complete with his name and directions for his care printed on it. And he is adorable.

Ames sleeps in the crib with Asher. And so far (despite my best efforts), he hasn't really attached himself to any one 'lovey'. But, Ames is there hanging out with him at night. We have used him to point out eyes, ears, nose, mouth. And, we bring him out of the bed for play from time to time.

I'm pretty certain (read: hopeful) that Ames and Asher will become best buds over time. Until then, I'll just remain in awe of how cute they both are.

Images: Ames joined us on our Mother's Day shoot with our friend and photographer, Liz Cooper.

Post partum anxiety update: What a difference a year makes.

2011-06-05T22:49:00.000-04:00

I've been struggling with keeping up with my blog these days. Starting a business and chasing a toddler are both very big tasks. And honestly, I'm really into parenthood these days. I can't really find the time to break away from Asher (and, well, work) to write the meaningful posts I have been writing in my mind the last several months.

These days, I get so darn excited to see Asher's face in the morning, even if it's 5 am. I take pictures of each little move he makes, and I treasure each one of them. I rejoice when he learns a new word. I figure out how to handle his mini tantrums. I smile with pride every time he signs 'more' or 'all done' for me. I love our bedtime rituals. I love saying his prayers with him and singing 'Raindrops on Roses' as he snuggles in my arms. I love playing outdoors with him, watching him discover grass and dirt and leaves.

I am loving it all so much. And lately, I've realized what a stark contrast this is to this same time last year. At the time, back then, I thought I was just sleep-deprived and a little anxious. Like all new moms are, right?

Now, the more I enjoy the good and even the not-so-good moments, too, I realize how much I didn't enjoy while Asher was a newborn and infant. And I feel horrible thinking that, but it's the truth.

Today, I took Asher to the mall for a few items. I strolled him around. He took in all that was around him, kicking his feet off the end of the stroller. And all of a sudden this feeling came over me. I literally felt, and I mean truly felt, a moment of the panic from last year's trips to the mall with Asher. To these same stores.

It's hard to explain, really. Going anywhere at the time was such a struggle for me. My mom and dad would come up and suggest going to the mall. My anxiety was through the roof. Asher would scream his way around the stores and I would crumble inside. I remember getting my brows done, hearing Asher screaming midway through the mall and feeling panic the entire time. I remember people leaning into the stroller and my panic then, too. I remember the anxiety simply pulling into the parking lot. The ordeal it was to take my colicky baby out in public. The germs and the things I couldn't control, and the things I could. Everything was a stressor. My heart beats faster now just thinking about it.

Fast forward to today. I had my sanitizer strapped to the stroller, as always. I let Asher play with the items as I picked them out. I felt so relaxed and at peace. Just me and my kid, strolling through the mall. What a difference a year makes.

When I recall my maternity leave or see something that reminds me of that time in my life, I have that same feeling of dread and worry. I remember being a zombie, splitting up overnight duties with Rusty (even though he had to go to work all day, too) because I mentally and physically and emotionally couldn't handle it alone. I realize now from the moment I gave birth, my anxiety was right there. At the time, I wrote it off. Thought it'd get better. But it didn't. It got worse. So much worse.

At the hospital I remember thinking, how on earth am I going to sleep when I take him home? I felt like Asher was safe there with the nurses and the nursery. At home, what if no one watched over him like I would? What if I slept and miss something? What if I do something wrong and something bad happens? The worry paralzed me. It affected my marriage. It affected my well-being. And it affected my ability to be a good mom.

That first night at home was awful. Yes, there was the adjusting of having a newborn. But, I'm not kidding when I tell you I didn't sleep once for a single minute in at least a 24-hour period. I was on major pain meds from my c-section and still, I didn't sleep a wink. I cried my eyes out when Asher cried. I had panic attacks. I had him in his bouncer in bed with me and I couldn't sleep. I was afraid he'd stop breathing. Or I'd miss a warning sign of something wrong. Or I'd do something that was a SIDS trigger.

I didn't enjoy my maternity leave. Not at all. It was three months of a really tough struggle. During the day, when Asher would nap (which wasn't often), I would put his swing within arms reach of me on the couch. And I'd stare at him. I'd check him a thousand times. I just couldn't rest. And I didn't rest. And it took its toll on me. When I think of that time, my heart breaks. I feel like I missed out on so much. I feel like Asher being a challenge of an infant plus my post partum issues together created the perfect storm. I missed out on the sweet newborn moments. They were there, I'm sure. But I was blinded by my 24/7 anxiety.

And now, Asher's asleep in his crib upstairs, and I'm downstairs typing. That would have never happened early on. We have our routine now, and we usually can stick to it. He's adventuresome. He's an organizer. He's super smart. He's still not the best sleeper, but we cope.

And, he loves his momma. I'm thankful that he won't remember my breakdowns those first six months. But, one day he'll read this blog and realize the challenges I faced. And I want him to know he was worth every bit of it, and I promise to do everything in my power to be the best mother I can be and keep my anxiety under control. He deserves the very best of me. And so does Rusty.

And you know, I am thankful that through the dense fog of my anxiety, and with the help of my husband, family and friends, I still managed to raise a flipping awesome kid. I'm still on my medication; we've had to up my dosage multiple times. But we're keeping my OCD pretty much under control. We even took a vacation! We travel! We eat out all the time! We play at the pool and on playgrounds! We had a big birthday party! And I enjoyed each of these moments, keeping my anxiety (pretty much) at bay. I still have my moments. He's certainly all over the place now. An active toddler. So, there's no chance of putting him in a bubble now.

And I still have a lot of work to do with challenges daily. I've found that I've avoided some functions and activities and friendships over the last year because it was all just too overwhelming. I've not been the best friend that I know I could be to some very close to me. I miss them. And I miss their presence in my life. And I want them to be a part of Asher's life. But, I'm taking baby steps. I'm spreading my wings and getting out there at a pace that I'm comfortable with. To those that I haven't seen as much, I am sorry and I promise to do better.

I don't think words can explain the sorrow I had in my heart the first part of Asher's life. I just know it was more powerful than even I realized at the time. When memories hit, I catch my breath. I feel the dread and the anxiety. My heart races for a split second. Then, I realize everything is so much better now. I'm a better mom and I'm a better wife. Hopefully I'm a better daughter and sister. And I'm working on being a better friend and a better Christian.

I often think about what it will be like to have another newborn in our home. How will my anxiety be that time around? Do I have it in me to tackle that again? It terrifies me. But feeling the sheer joy of motherhood these days, I realize that's what it's all about. This is more like what I should have felt at this time last year. This is how loving your child should feel. And I'm so, so, so glad I feel that now.

Photos are from my Mother's Day shoot with Asher by Liz Cooper Photography. Some of these images make my heart explode with love. Some nearly bring me to (happy) tears.

New camera: day 1

2011-06-03T14:43:00.000-04:00

Bear with me, please, as I take 18 gazillion photos of my kid while learning this camera!

Videos: Adventures with Asher

2011-06-01T22:50:00.000-04:00

Looking back at all the random video clips I've uploaded from my phone. I realize that they are probably only so darn entertaining to me because I'm the momma. However, I think there are probably a few of you out there that may enjoy these, too. At least a little bit.

Up first, Asher's latest babbles.

And, conversations in the bathtub.

Asher's new game: terrorizing Jax. Those of you who know Jax well, understand why this video precious to me. Jax has such patience with Asher (not so with the rest of us). He puts up with Asher chasing him around and throwing things at him and giggling like a mad man. It's awesome to watch, really. A boy and his (mom's) dog. Yay!

Videos: Sailing off Rosemary Beach, Florida

2011-06-01T22:35:00.002-04:00

While we were on vacation, Rusty and I took a hobie cat out two days off Rosemary Beach.

On our honeymoon, we practically lived on the hobie cat in Mexico. So, we were sure to find someplace in Florida that we could enjoy some sailing while Joni kept Asher entertained for us. It was great to get out on the water with the husband, relive our honeymoon fun and just relax.

It was the biggest treat ever to have some dolphins join us out there (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). They swam around us for a while. I was able to convince Rusty that it was worth pulling the Thunderbolt out of its plastic bag and risking it getting wet to capture some video. I only got a bit of the dolphins, but you'll still see them for a few seconds. And even see them swimming under us. Awesome. Awesome.

So, here ya go.

Two notes on this next one. One, Rusty's wearing my pink hat so I could get some sun. And two, yes, I'm wearing a life jacket because the big ocean kind of freaks me out.

Our First Family Vacation - Seacrest Beach, Florida

2011-05-27T10:06:00.000-04:00

A few months ago, I told Rusty I knew money was tight, but that I thought it would be an investment in our marriage for us to dip into savings and take a vacation as a family. Traveling was so much a part of our lives before Asher, and it felt like a part of us was missing without it. Sure, we've been here and there for short weekend getaways with family. But, I craved a good, long, far away vacation with my husband and baby. He agreed. We set a budget and I started my searching.

Criteria:

Stick with budget
Within driving distance
Blue, tropical water (this = true vacation to me)
Poolside

Rusty was telling me about the waters of Panama City, where he spent time growing up. His grandparents had a condo right on the beach. He was spouting out names of places and things to do. I asked about the color of the water. He said just like Mexico or Jamaica. I said, we are there!

So, my favorite part came next. I searched online for places to stay. I wasn't too thrilled about staying in Panama City Beach. I wanted something a little less spring break, a little more relaxation. I got a tip from my friend to check out the Seaside area. This is where The Truman Show was filmed. I searched some more and came across the largest pool in that part of Florida - 12,000 square feet - in nearby Seacrest Beach. I hit up Vacation Rentals by Owner to see what was available for rent.

This is my new fave way to vacation. Rent a condo or home, straight from the owner. You get a home that's been put together and maintained with love. You also get a full kitchen, washer/dryer and lots of space. I cam across a giant 4-bedroom condo overlooking the giant pool. It was way more space than we needed (2,000 square feet), but I figure better to have too much than too little. This place ended up with the best deal out of all of those in the area that were available. Rates went up after Memorial Day (as would the crowds), so we decided May would be our travel time.

View from our lounge chairs by the pool. Third floor is our place.

People watching from our balcony. You know Rusty loved this!

Enter Beach Bliss at Sable Point East, Seacrest Beach. They were even running a special for $500 off a week booked in May. So, we scored the place for Saturday - Saturday for $995. Awesome. The owners were awesome to work with. They suggested a lot of places that were family friendly and a few just for me and Rusty to try out. And the condo was right at the pool, on the third floor. Great people watching!

81 Seacrest Blvd. East, Seacrest Beach Florida

After we booked, Rusty suggested we bring along my sister, Joni. She is our nanny while I work (and she goes to school), and he thought if she came with us, it would allow us some private time just the two of us. Luckily, it didn't take too much convincing to get her to ride along. We scheduled out her hours and our week. We traded off early mornings with Asher. And I do believe it worked out quite nicely.

Rusty on the hobie, on his way to pick me up.

So nice to get away, sun-kissed and holding hands with my husb as we walked to dinner. We even rented a hobie cat two days and took it out on the beach. Just like our honeymoon! I realize that having Joni come along with us was definitely a luxury, but I wasn't ready to leave for a week without Asher. And Rusty recognized the importance of us having some time together just the two of us throughout the week. It worked out well, and we are very thankful and very blessed.

Joni's balcony.

The condo blew me away. It looked nice in the photos, but it was even nicer in reality. My OCD never even bothered me. It was super clean and bright. The bathroom rugs looked like no one had ever stepped foot on them. The couch and rugs and bedspreads all looked brand new. It was impressive. And huge. We took the master in the front of the house, and Joni took one of the other bedrooms in her 'wing'. She had a bedroom, bathroom and attached den (fourth bedroom, actually) and her own balcony. I hope this helped her feeling like she had privacy and could enjoy herself in her downtime. We joked about how big the place was, but it was really awesome to spread out.

The week flew by. We were within walking distance to many restaurants, shops, beach communities, beach access. There was a neighborhood golf cart that took you to and from the beach for free (right across the street). We'd take walks each day admiring all of the beautiful beach houses. Each had its own flair.

The 30A area of Florida is a great vacation destination. It's part of the Beaches of South Walton. Check it out! Lots to do. Gorgeous beaches. Fabulous neighborhoods. Great family friendly area. We give it two thumbs up for sure.

He's so my kid.

2011-05-26T09:13:00.000-04:00

Hello and long time no see. I've been a slack blogger. I promise to do better, but I've just been recooperating from our vacation. Moms, you know how that is.

So, we went on vacation last week. And it was fantastic. The first morning in Florida, I introduced Asher to the McDonald's hashbrown. Those who know me well are aware that I went through this lovely phase of eating 2-4 of these hashbrowns for breakfast every morning for weeks. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

Along with said hashbrowns was always a large McDonald's sweet tea - well - half sweet/half unsweet (usually). I was delighted to discover that one McDonald's in the area had large sweet tea 2 for $1! Tea fans all around, isn't that awesome? I resisted the urged to fill up my 12 cupholders with large teas.

Anyways, back to the point. Asher loves sweet tea. When he sees me come near him with my large McDonald's cup, he goes nuts. Then he'll grab it from me and drink, drink, drink.

In Florida, I was kind and shared my hasbrowns with him for the first time. He took his half and gobbled it right up. He. Loved. It. Loved, loved. Here is my photographic evidence. See?

Those hands just make me melt! And McDonald's, please see me for rights to this photo for your future advertising needs. :)

This one time. At Oak Island.

2011-05-12T11:11:00.000-04:00

Ash and I had the pleasure of joining Christal and Hadley at their condo on Oak Island last week. It was such a nice mommy-toddler getaway.

Of course, Asher showed his joy by staying up all night one night. I literally thought something was wrong, he was acting so bizarre at 2 a.m. Turns out, he just wasn't tired. Go figure.

We went out to eat a lot. The todds charmed everyone they met, except for the unfortunately grumpy prissy woman at the table next to us. She was clearly not pleased that I was giving him sweet tea and that he was dropping food on the floor. Gasp.

I'm so thankful Christal asked us to join them. Much needed momma bonding time. Was good for my mental health.

And Asher and Hadley fell more in love.

We took them to the beach. Hadley loved the water. Asher was terrified of it.

He did, however, love the sand. So. Much. Sand. To. Organize. He was in sand la la land.

Until I introduced him to the water, after which he was clingy and miserable. Silly boy, the beach is your friend.

Thanks Christal and Hadley for sharing your world with us. We love you!

And soon, we vacay!

2011-05-10T22:40:00.001-04:00

How thrilled am I that in a few short days, we are embarking on our first official family vacation. We are going to spend a long week in Seacrest, Florida. Where the water is tropical blue, the sun is shining and there are sailboats for playing.

There's also a giant condo overlooking an even more giant pool, both in which we will be hanging. All for a ridiculously affordable rate. You know I love myself a good vacation deal hunt. And I totally scored with this one. So excited.

We are driving down (yep), so that'll be an adventure all its own. Any travel tips out there that I must hear about? We are taking my sister to help with Asher, so we can have some quality Rusty and Kira time sailing, swimming, drinking, sleeping and maybe even helicoptering.

(And for those creepy people that (in my mind) stalk blogs and Facebook and break into empty homes - our home won't be empty. You have been warned. And we have very attentive neighbors. There. I feel better.)

My dad has graciously allowed me to take his DSLR with us. I'm so flipping looking forward to capturing way too many photos with it. For practice, we had an impromptu photoshoot (in the neighbor's yard, again). So, here's where you get my giddy photo overload. Enjoy!

And yes, I'm still obsessed with Babylegs. Even on boys. They are awesome for crawling and falling and all that jazz. I think they are precious.

Happy Mother's Day, mommas!

2011-05-07T23:03:00.002-04:00

Brought to you by the awesome folks at Disney.

Makes my heart smile. And smile and smile.

Can I go wake Asher up and hug him now? (Wait. What? Those Disney folks are good.)

Mother's Song: a traditional lullaby

My heart is like a fountain true
that flows and flows with love to you
as chirps the lark unto the tree
so chirps my pretty babe to me

There is not a rose wherever I seek
as comely as my baby's cheek
there's not a comb of honey bee
so full of sweets as babe to me

There's not a star that shines on high
is brighter than my baby's eye
There's not a boat upon the sea
can dance as baby does to me

No silk was ever spun so fine
as is the hair of baby mine
My baby smells more sweet to me
than smells in spring the elder tree

A little fish swims in the well
So in my heart does baby dwell
A little flower blows on the tree
My baby is the flower to me

Ten thousand parks where deer do run
Ten thousand roses in the sun
Ten thousand pearls beneath the sea
my babe more precious is to me.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

2011-05-07T22:56:00.002-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to the most beautiful mom ever. Inside and out. I'm so honored to call you mine.

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." -- Abraham Lincoln

Asher's First Birthday: Party in the Park Details

2011-05-06T11:23:00.008-04:00

Some may say I went a teeny bit overboard thinking through all of the details for Asher's first birthday party. But, you know, he'll only turn one once. And this is probably the only year I'll get to really do everything I want without the insertion of Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and the like.

So, I took several months, gathered things as they went on sale, or as ideas popped into my head. I kept the party on a tight budget and I'm really happy with how things turned out. Such a sweet day, with sweet memories.

Asher, doodlebug, this Party in the Park was just for you. With all the things and people you love. And your momma's love baked into every, single detail.

Location: Glen Eden Pilot Park
Asher loves the outdoors. And swinging. And sand. And exploring. So, this little park hidden away near our neighborhood was the perfect location. After parking, the guests had to meander down the greenway trails, over a bridge and past the playground. Landing at our picnic shelter hidden in the trees.

Several months back, I was approached by the nice people at BuildaSign.com about creating a sign on their site. I remember my mom putting up a birthday banner anytime there was a birthday in our home. I wanted to continue that tradition for Asher. So, I was thrilled when I logged into BuildaSign.com and was able to design a giant birthday sign just for us. I chose the words 'It's a Kroboth Birthday' so we can use the banner for each of the members of our family for many years. We hung this sign in our front yard the night before Asher's birthday and throughout the week. Yes, it was big, but it made a statement. I like that about it. For the party, we hung the banner from the trees, near the little bridge, to greet our guests. (Check out BuildaSign.com.)

Invitations: Frisbees in the mail
Read all about Asher's invites on my frisbee post. These were a hit with our guests. And I had a grand time making them.

Menu: Asher's favorite things
Patty cake from Harris Teeter (eVic customers get kid's first birthday patty cake for free!). I added the sprinkles for color and the Ritz cracker because they are Asher's favorite. Watermelon chunks. Ritz crackers and cheese ball (rolled in bacon bits instead of nuts). Lemonade.

Decor: Touch of home with a burst of color
For tablecloths, I used my grandma's quilts. They made me feel like she was a part of the day. I wanted the picnic shelter to feel like home.

I hung paper lanterns from the beams above us. A birthday banner at the entrance. And a long clothesline of canvas goodie bags along the back.

The goodie bags were a fun project. We used Asher's feet and stamps to create outdoor images on the bags for each of our guests. The kids' bags were filled with fun park playthings like bubbles, punch balloons and squirt guns.

We had sidewalk chalk available for coloring, a bubble machine for playing (this thing created a bubble blizzard, for real), blankets for the babies and balls for tossing. Handmade pinwheels (from Etsy, where else?) topped the tables and others danced along the sidewalk.

The wagon from my childhood made its way to Raleigh to hold gifts. And after present time, wheeled all the babies around the park.

It was a beautiful day. With beautiful people. A beautiful birthday boy. And beautiful memories.

Really?

2011-05-04T12:11:00.000-04:00

Mid-day rant.

Just when we are getting Asher to sleep with some form of reliability (yes, it's taken a year), guess what? Jax now needs to be taken out in the middle of the night. It seems that somewhere between 1 and 3 am, my dog must go out. Immediately.

The first morning this happened, I guess he was whining but we couldn't hear him (we don't have a baby monitor in his crate, after all). He then starts barking. I was sure someone was breaking in. Nope. Just needed a potty break.

Last night. Repeat. Except this time I heard the whining.

It was like the just-home-from-the-hospital-with-Asher whining that drove me crazy. Which, thankfully, calmed down months ago.

And now, now, my poor old dog's bladder and bowels can't make it through the night.

It's always something.

Anyone want to adopt a senior dog with all kinds of quirks and give him the love and attention (and round the clock bathroom breaks) he so deserves? I'm only half joking.

Asher's thank you!

2011-05-02T09:28:00.001-04:00

Best project ever....

2011-04-29T14:40:00.002-04:00

...Producing Asher's first birthday party!

Loving it. And all the details. So fun.

Can't wait for Sunday!

Back to work now.

My baby is a toddler.

2011-04-27T22:32:00.000-04:00

Today was simply fabulous. Lots of love going around. And cupcakes (which Asher was not a fan of) and broccoli chicken casserole (which Asher was a huge fan of).

I'm so excited for his party this weekend. Going to be so fantastic watching him toddle around and celebrate with some of our favorite people.

And, to top off the birthday celebration, my friend Liz Cooper sent over the sneak peek for our Mother's Day photo shoot with her from last weekend. Check it out, if you'd like. http://lizcooper.wordpress.com/2011/04/27/sneak-peek-mothers-day-kira-and-asher/

My heart is so full.

Asher's First Birthday: Video

2011-04-27T08:29:00.002-04:00

On your first birthday.

2011-04-26T23:09:00.000-04:00

Oh, Sweet Asher Bug. My buddy. Sweet, sweet Ash.

Boy, did you rock our world. Did you ever.

At this time last year, we had no idea what was about to hit us. A big love. A giant love. A giant challenge. An adventure of humongous proportions.

You've taught us patience. You've shown us a love like no other. You've kept us awake far too many hours for my liking, but I do suppose you are worth it. Every bit of it.

From your first three months of non. stop. screaming. To your first steps. We've loved you each and every moment. And more and more along the way.

I'm not going to sugar coat things here and say we loved each moment itself, because like I said, you rocked our world. There were some (ok, a lot of) rough times. Hours of crying (mostly you, but some of me, too). Goodness you were hard to please.And we had every gadget in the store. We tried so many things to help you get comfortable.

But, you've always been nosey. You'd rather make yourself (and us) miserable staying awake to see what's going on. You're the only newborn I know of that could stay awake and alert for hours, just taking it all in.

And when you weren't being nosey you were crying. Screaming. I think you missed the memo about how newborns should sleep all the time. In fact, I think you missed any memos regarding sleep. You are just not a sleeper. At naptime, you'd think we were torturing you with the nose sucker or something.

And boy, the way you scream is quite impressive. I've recorded it so I can play it back for you one day. Not kidding. When you bring home your little one from the hospital one day, and you call me saying Mom, he won't stop crying. I'll say, We know all about that. Cue: screaming Asher audio. Isn't that great?

For all your nonsleeping and lotsascreaming moments, there are a zillion more that are just plain awesome. You get more awesome by the day. By the hour and minute, too.

When you see one of us come in the door, you light up. Grinning from ear to ear. And just tonight, I noticed what may be the start of dimples. Won't those be adorable?

You squeal loudly.
And babble nonstop.
And destroy entire rooms in record time.
You've won Jax over.
You love watermelon.
You love the outdoors.
You like to travel with sticks.
You gather and collect. Organize and reorganize.

When you repeat thdank dhu (read: thank you) after me, I think my heart may burst with love. When I hear you calling mamamama or dadadadada, I just love it. And your version of egg, egGUH, made my Easter that much more divine.

When you do something particularly awesome, or not even particularly awesome, one of us usually says something like I can't believe that's our kid. We made him. We are so proud.

It's a hard concept to grasp. How you can love someone so much. How your every move has two (or more) grown adults completely entertained. For hours.

How this first year with you has flown by and crept by at the same time.

How parenthood can be so simultaneously exhausting and exhilarating.

How loving you can make me love your dad in a whole new, stronger way.

How I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds. Every tomorrow.

Especially this tomorrow. Seeing your face in the morning and singing you happy birthday is going to be one of the best highlights of my life.

Thank you for being my Asher, our Asher.

Thank you for the lessons you've taught us and the love you've shown us.

For you, we are so very thankful. And with this love, we are so very blessed.

Happy, happy, happy first birthday.

lybttu,
Your momma

Guest blogger: A note from Joni Belle

2011-04-26T19:59:00.000-04:00

happy birthday! & happy welcome home-iversary!

weird title, huh? well let me just say, its for good reason. many of you know that last year at this time, my family was on a complete roller coaster ride. just thinking of the journey itself, brings me to tears. a year ago from tonight, we all sat around. sat around anticipating the arrival of one of the best things that would happen to our family this year, when my sister was induced the next day. we also, sat around. sat around the bedside of one of the best things that had happened to us in the years before. my grandmother, 'Cille (also known as my super hero) was holding on. holding on far past the hospice nurses predictions. we all knew she was a fighter, we had seen that displayed in multiple ways before. but this time, it was different, we all knew that she was ready to "go home" (as she called it), she had told us everyone that she looked forward to seeing there (at her "home") and we had all held her hand and told her it was "okay to go". but still. everyday. we repeated those words. well on 4/27/10 'Cilles' great grandson Asher Ray (my nephew) was born. Oh what a joyous day!! he was perfect. perfect in everyway possible. an emotional day for us all, as anyone knows, its always emotional when welcoming a baby into the family. i remember holding Asher for the first time. changing that first poopy diaper. i remember it all, like it was yesterday. well, back in louisburg, family was still surrounding 'Cille, telling her all about Asher's arrival. allowing her to hold a picture of him in her hand. spreading the joy of the new baby all around the house. it was great! finally, on 4/30/10 Kira and Asher were allowed to go home. everyone was healthy and everyone checked out okay.. and that was it! that is what i believe 'Cille was waiting for. Asher and Kira to be 'announced' healthy and released from the hospital. 'Cille went to heaven to watch over us that morning, right during the time that Kira and Asher packed their bags and signed all that paperwork.

i know my family will agree when i say "time really does fly!". i can not believe that Asher has been with us for a year now. nor can i believe that it was a year ago i told 'Cille goodbye. but i can say that i am super grateful everyday for Asher Ray. he is the coolest nephew ever! and i see his great grandmother in him all the time. me and Kira constantly talk about 'Cille with Asher. i am blessed to be able to be a nanny for Asher. i am so grateful to have watched him grow and accomplish soooo much this year. its amazing. Asher is amazing. God is amazing! the good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away..

all of this to say. these next few days, my family and i will be back on that same roller coaster ride that we were on a year ago. but this time, we have a wonderful TODDLER there to hold our hand during the ride. and an amazing woman watching down on us as we are on the ride.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASHER!! <- we have loved every single moment with you this year.

HAPPY WELCOME HOME-iversary, 'Cille!! <- i know you have loved every single moment with Grandpa Paul this year.

& to my family.. i love you all bigger than the universe! Jeremiah 29:11.

Asher's first trip to Louisburg Fire Department.

2011-04-25T09:25:00.000-04:00

Asher walks!

2011-04-23T19:46:00.002-04:00

Twister, twisting my heart.

2011-04-22T23:16:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday, a mean, mean, mean storm system came through our state. We hunkered down in our storm closet under our stair case in the middle of the house. We knew the storms would be powerful. The weathermen had warned us for days. But no one knew just how bad they would be. There were tornado warnings hours before the line of red reached us on the radar. Hours. Warning after warning. They were spotted. On the ground. And headed our way.

I made sure we had shoes on our feet. Should we get hit, we'd need shoes. I made sure we had pillows and blankets and snacks in our safe space. Rusty looked at me like I was half crazy. Joni, who came to ride the storms out with us, happily obliged but I think she thought I was going a little overboard. Jax even knew something was up. He was calm. And sat in that closet with us.

The weatherman said "there is a large tornado on the ground, headed toward downtown Raleigh". Our power was flicking on and off. Rusty finally joined us in the closet. He had his laptop in his lap, turning on backup servers for WRAL.com, as the rest of his team had no internet. At this point, I think we realized the tornado was going to miss us by a few miles. It was loud and wild out there, but it was surprisingly quiet in our closet.

About 10 minutes later, we came out. On the news, everyone at WRAL had evacuated to the basement at the station. Except for the weatherman and the cameraman. Can you imagine? The footage started rolling in. The pictures were showing up on Facebook. There were kids that lost their lives. There were families that lost their homes. The stories were so powerful. A yearbook that was picked up by the tornado in Sanford and landed in the Raleigh area, 60 miles later. The weather service just announced today it was a record tornado outbreak for our state. Videos are surfacing. Stories of survival are uplifting. Stories of loss are gut wrenching. And they just keep coming in. The damage is so widespread it's surreal.

Today, Rusty and I had the opportunity to go with a friend to volunteer at a home that was damaged by the storm. It was north of us, in the neighborhood near Serendipity, off of Forestville Road. Those watching the news know that this area was hard hit. I tried to prepare myself for what we'd see. There were lots and lots of trees down and tarps scattered on almost all of the rooftops along the road.

Their house was atop a hill. They were missing a wall along the entire length of their house on the second floor. Their windows were blown out. Their blinds mangled. There was glass everywhere. And tiny pieces of insulation stuck on everything. Even behind their dresser in their bedroom, in that tiny space, the power cords were coated on all sides with insulation. I cannot imagine the spin and wall of rain that would do such a thing.

The family was home when the tornado hit. They huddled in the closet underneath their stairs. With their almost one-year old son. The husband said that he had to hold the door closed, as the tornado was trying to pull it open. Their ears were popping. The walls were shifting around them. I mean, can you even imagine?

We were assigned the task of cleaning the baby's room. Oh, my heart hurts just thinking about it. Rusty and I cleaned out the clothes and items that were covered in insulation and strewn around the closet. There was a big hole in the wall of the closet. Just outside the baby's door the wall was gone. I packed away little outfits that were the same that our Asher wore. Little PJ's that were the same. Little onesie's. It's like I was looking at Asher's closet. And here we were, complete strangers, going through their son's belongings. Taking apart his crib. Wow. It was emotional. But it felt good to help.

We continued, our little army of workers, operating shop vacs and wearing our masks. The family had to move to an efficiency apartment. A lot of their furniture had to be thrown out, as it was covered in shards of glass, tiny pieces of insulation and soaking wet. We picked up so much glass. Pieces of other people's houses in their bedroom. It was insane. And, their house was no where near as bad as some of the others. Apparently their builder built the homes to the standards of eastern NC, which means that they have to be able to withstand stronger winds. This was because the neighborhood was built atop a hill. The structural engineer said that's likely what saved them. They said they thought they weren't going to make it. Can you even imagine?

Driving away, Rusty and I were quiet, digesting what we had seen. We were thankful that we were safe. We were thankful for the ability to help. I looked at each of the tarps on both sides of us, realizing that underneath them were pieces of glass, bits of insulation and debris. People's lives all twisted around and forever affected. It makes me catch my breath thinking of it.

God, please be with all of those affected by these storms. Please help everyone to heal. And please help us find ways to help each other. Thank you for keeping my family safe. Help us to never take life for granted. Amen.

Random memory.

2011-04-21T22:29:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I'm laying in my bed. Asher is snoozing on my shoulder. (Lately, I've let him sleep there with me for a bit because he's about to turn one and I'm savoring every moment and I'm the mom and I make the rules.)

Anyways, so tonight I'm doing something on my phone while Asher sleeps. And I got really sleepy. And almost dozed off for a second. And then this random memory hits me. Bam!

When Asher was little. Those first few sleepless (very sleepless) months. I would try to type during feedings. I'd text or read a blog or update Facebook. And I remember being so frickin tired that I'd fall asleep in the middle of typing a thought. I'd wake up to "Asher sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" or something like that on my screen. I remember prying my eyes open while deleting all the sleepytime characters I typed. And it would usually happen all over again.

Damn. I was so ridiculously tired. Wow. Funny that that one memory brought it all back. Just. Like. That.

And a bathtime picture from tonight to complete the randomness.

Did you know a nap was torture?

2011-04-20T11:21:00.000-04:00

Asher just informed me that it was.

Well, technically, he's still informing me that it is.