Saturday, April 24, 2010

Cille's kitchen sink


While she hasn't stood in this spot herself for many months, this is the view from Cille's kitchen sink. You cannot be a member of our family and stand there and not think of her and be flooded with memories. She ruled her hill from that spot, and she loved that view. We all do, really.

Today, I wobbled out to the car and to Louisburg to say my goodbye to Cille. She's been slowly getting weaker. Hospice said she's in the transition period.

It was really hard seeing her this way, but it was important to me to be there. She was so unsettled, and really, barely breathing. At one point, she breathed so slowly that mom placed her hand on her chest to see if her heart was still beating. To see someone you love seemingly struggle between life and death, wow, is not easy. Her pain is under control and her body is just shutting down.

A kind priest from Wake Forest came last night and had a service with the family. Mom said Cille was so at peace during that time. My family held hands today and said the Lord's Prayer around Cille's bed. Powerful moment. Sad moment. I just kept praying for God to take her with Him and let her find peace.

Family sure is amazing. As her children and grandchildren gathered to be with her, other family members, her brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, came all throughout the day. We have such a large family, with so much love. And then, at dinner time, my dad's family comes in the door (two car loads of them!) with a meal for everyone. It was delicious. And an entirely appropriate way to end the day. Cille loved a good meal. I hope the Peoples' realize how much that meal meant to us. Thanks, you all!

This hymn, one of my favorites, was in my mind this afternoon.

In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;
In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!
In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.


There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;
There’s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.
From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.


In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity,
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.
 
God, bless Cille.

8 comments:

Peanut said...

Well said Ka..
We love you all!!!

Anonymous said...

Kira and Family ~

I only wish that I could be there to give you each a big hug today. As I read your blog it brought tears...the transition can be so hard.

It makes me feel good to know that Cille was at peace last night during the special time of prayer...

I am so proud of how the family of Cille has been there for her around the clock and kept her at home.

I have so many fond memories of Cille even before the Larry ("Willie") and Ann Dating Days. I use to love to spend the night with Shirley and especially the sleep overs.

I love to be there today for Cille and each of you. Just know that although I am 7 hours away my special thoughts and prayers continue.

May God's Will be Done...

I love you all!
Susan

Larry said...

Well put Ka!
Love Yall Bigger than the Universe!!
Mom & Dad

Melissa said...

Beautiful Kira...

We are so blessed to have large loving families and grandmothers like Cille. Thinking of you and your entire family during this time. Please let me know how I can help.

Praying for God's will to be done. Love you.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry you are having to endure such heartache at what will be such a happy time. I hope that Cille will be relieved soon. I love the hymn you posted.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Kira!

-Zack

Anonymous said...

I took Grandma to see Cille yesterday morning as soon as Aunt Peggy called. Grandma could barely walk since she had just got home from the hospital the day before. But she was determined to see Cillie and say goodbye. Uncle Elmo came at the same time and it was so sad to see them crying at her bedside. Grandmas nose startin bleedin and she began to have chest pain so we had to leave even though she wanted to stay and hold Cillies hand. My Grandma always said that Cillie and Elmo were like her mama and daddy they always took her under there wing. Grandma told me yesterday that a long time ago Aunt Lucille told her to prepare herself b/c it was goin to be the hardest on her b/c she will have to watch the others wither away. I look back at pictures when all eight were healthy and happy and cant believe how much has changed. Those siblings were/are closer than any family i know. I pray for you and the family.
love
megan

Anonymous said...

beautiful ka! i am glad you and rusty came. (and i KNOW you are) you said exactly what i am certain a lot of us are feeling. i love you bigger than the universe!

- Joni Belle

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