Cille's kitchen sink

While she hasn't stood in this spot herself for many months, this is the view from Cille's kitchen sink. You cannot be a member of our family and stand there and not think of her and be flooded with memories. She ruled her hill from that spot, and she loved that view. We all do, really.

Today, I wobbled out to the car and to Louisburg to say my goodbye to Cille. She's been slowly getting weaker. Hospice said she's in the transition period.

It was really hard seeing her this way, but it was important to me to be there. She was so unsettled, and really, barely breathing. At one point, she breathed so slowly that mom placed her hand on her chest to see if her heart was still beating. To see someone you love seemingly struggle between life and death, wow, is not easy. Her pain is under control and her body is just shutting down.

A kind priest from Wake Forest came last night and had a service with the family. Mom said Cille was so at peace during that time. My family held hands today and said the Lord's Prayer around Cille's bed. Powerful moment. Sad moment. I just kept praying for God to take her with Him and let her find peace.

Family sure is amazing. As her children and grandchildren gathered to be with her, other family members, her brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews, came all throughout the day. We have such a large family, with so much love. And then, at dinner time, my dad's family comes in the door (two car loads of them!) with a meal for everyone. It was delicious. And an entirely appropriate way to end the day. Cille loved a good meal. I hope the Peoples' realize how much that meal meant to us. Thanks, you all!

This hymn, one of my favorites, was in my mind this afternoon.

In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;
In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!
In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.


There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;
There’s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.
From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.


In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity,
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.
 
God, bless Cille.