Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Bloodshot is the new black.

Didn't you know? Bloodshot is the new black.

And I wear my red eyes with pride. After all, aren't they the mark of a momma?

Gone are those blissful days of Asher sleeping through the night. (This was from about week eight to month 3.5.) They almost feel like they never existed. New restless, hungry nights enter the picture. I told myself at first that Asher was just hungry after losing weight from being sick, and was making up for lost meals. Now, three weeks later, I think this is just a new phase. A sleepless phase. Maybe a teething phase? Maybe it's because he's still getting used to the crib after sleeping in his baby hammock?

Since I'm nursing, it's just me that gets up at night. It's easy to keep him calm, feed him and put him right back down this way. And, as long as he goes back to sleep, the whole process doesn't bother me that much. It sure beats the restless, worried sick nights. Now, overnight feedings have become a nice, quiet time with my sweet boy. I cuddle with him in the dark and remind myself that he won't be this small forever. Now when the weekends roll around, I pass Asher off to Rusty in the morning and go back to bed for a few hours. That's my reward.

So, for now, I yawn while I type this. And avoid the urge to research 'sleep regression', 'sleep training', 'cry it out' and the like. In reality, I've read the information and books that we were willing to implement. I've talked to friends about their babies and how they handled similar situations. I've stressed about it and analyzed it. All babies are different, anyway. It's hard to compare, right? Every family handles it in their own way.

And in the end I have reached this conclusion: Asher's waking up hungry for whatever reason. And as his mom, I'm going to feed him and trust that this, too, shall pass. Groundbreaking notion, isn't it?

Next time the sleeping through the night phase comes around (because I'm certain it will, surely, right?), I'll appreciate it much more.

Sweet dreams, my sweet boy. Momma sure loves you.

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