Twas the night before OIT

And Momma is a nervous wreck.

Little One has no idea what a big deal tomorrow is.

Momma feels kind of guilty for putting him through this when he has no say.

At only age two, though, the benefits of getting him desensitized sooner make OIT a top priority.

Momma focuses on the future.

Starting kindergarten with no fear.

Learning to let go a little with less fear of food and more fear of riding his bike too fast or other normal boy things.

Tomorrow morning at 9 AM we report to Dr. Nash's office. With blankets and games and prizes and a cooler and a lunchbox and a backpack and the mighty iPad - we will arrive.

I'll probably be visibly shaking.

We're going to feed my sweet, sweet boy .1 mg of peanut flour. Yes, that is point one mg.

We'll wait 20 minutes. Hopefully he'll be bored as I stare at him looking for any remote sign of a reaction.

If all is well, we'll proceed to .2 mg I think. Wait again.

And we'll repeat, gradually all day.

I pray my boy will take the doses without a fight. Because if he fights me or cries, it will break my heart and just make it worse.

By the time we reach the day's final dose, we hope to be at 3 mg. We'll wait several hours to be sure all is well (no reactions). Then we head home.

Momma probably won't sleep. Momma will thank God for the Angelcare monitor in the crib.

Wednesday morning, we head back to Dr. Nash's office for one dose. This time we'll start right at where we stopped the day before. Wait and (hopefully) tolerate. And then we go home with two weeks worth of 3 mg.

We will dose at home, daily. In two weeks, we go back for an updose.

We'll repeat this until we reach 2400 mgs of peanut flour (the equivalent of 8 peanuts).

I think I have those numbers right. Gosh, I need to take better notes.

If/when we get sick, we stop for a max of 4 days and then down dose. We must have two hours of quiet time after our dose every day. Sickness or raised body temp can cause a reaction. We have to adjust our lives and routines around this very important journey. 

We'll stay at 2400 mgs for a year, as maintenance. Then after a year, we attempt to pass the peanut challenge. I think that's 24 peanuts? I'm not sure. It feels so far off.

What I do know is Dr. Nash uses the protocol from Duke. It's conservative. It's very slow going. And he won't budget from it (from what other moms tell me). I like conservative. Slow and steady wins the race.

Momma needs to go pack the bags and stuff. And maybe take my anxiety meds. Or something.

Please say a prayer tonight for our Elias. Please help us as his parents to trust in our decision to do this. Please pray that his body will adjust according to God's will and that if a reaction occurs we have the wisdom to recognize and help our sweet boy. And please help him to cooperate and one day be extremely thankful for this life altering journey. That starts tomorrow.

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